Saturday, May 2, 2015

You Completed the Caption

Arched one: After I hit this bull's eye, I'm going to practice hitting my husbands bulls eye on his bottom.

Rollin: Oh--there's Lord Chesterfield, the sod. Here, hold my beer---ya'll watch this...

Baxter: My husband told me that if I don't at least hit the target, after all the archery lessons he has given me, that he would bare my bottom right here in front of all you and spank me. Gee, will I try to hit the target or that tree over there as I have not been spanked in a while. Decisions decisions.

Leigh: "I bet this will get his attention and get me spanked."

Simon: "I'm sorry but tying him to a tree and trying to shoot an apple on his head is not safe consensual S&M."

Mitch: You take his left cheek, I'll take his right, and Matilda can... well, Matilda can take whatever she likes.

Sir Wendel: Every time Margaret gets caned she shoots the blasted thing into the next field then Winthorp retrieves it and whips her again.

DelFonte: Remember, its one spank for the outer ring, fiver for the middle and ten for the bull's eye.

Ronnie: Don't forget Mary, the loser gets spanked.

A. Lurker: Shot through the heart
And you're to blame.
You give love
A bad name!

(Apologies to Jon Bon Jovi)

Katie: Oh look Jenny! Martha's had a sound spanking! She's become an archery expert you know. Every time she gets her bottom warmed, she picks up her bow and pretends that the target is James. She can't seem to stay out of trouble, you know!

Anon: There are three of them and they're each carrying a very big paddle. Well, I'm not getting spanked without a fight. I only have one arrow, so I'm going to shoot at the one coming after me. You two are on your own.

Vfrat25000: Harriet, I think you are supposed to put the apple on his other head!

After archery practice ladies, I will teach you all how to cover yourself with camouflage, climb up a deer stand at 5 in the morning, put tree branches in your hair, rub charcoal all over your face and sprinkle deer urine from head to toe.

Margaret, whose idea was this archery crap? This is majorly boring. Let’s go to Frankie’s bar, toss down a couple of pitchers of stout ale and pick up some sailors.

This whole Steal from the Rich and Give to the Poor crusade of yours sounds great but you have any idea what our husbands would do if they found out about our little band of merry women. I don’t know about you but I like sitting down and I don’t plan to give up the privilege. I’m out of here!

Jim your wife was trying to prove something with that bow and arrow to her little hen party and just shot an arrow into our beer truck.
You have got to be kidding. Somebody find me a hairbrush. Little Miss Robin Hood is going to get her merry bottom paddled!

Jim M: While our husbands have a beer in the lounge, we come out and shoot 50 arrows each. The target has a pretty big bull's eye and it is only 15 yards out. Three points for a bull's eye, two for just hitting the target. I am the best shot and usually score over 100. Josephine and Antoinette get at least 80 points each. Then we go into the lounge, get the paddles and bend over our husbands’ knees. They bare our bottoms and we get one smack for each point. The other men in the lounge gather around and cheer them on.

Welcome, Jim!

Hermione: Katniss could never understand why wearing a bustle was a requirement in the Games.

For more fun and games, stick around for brunch, coming up next.
From Hermione's Heart

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