Complete the Caption

In the fifties there were black and white television programs, and there was black and white kink. Who needed colour?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will publish your colourless - or colourful - contributions in the next post.

Bewitching Bottoms

Our national newspaper recently printed an article with the intriguing title Bewitched by Barichara - and its big-bottomed delicacy. Could this be about a mysterious spanking island?

Not quite. Barichara is a small town in Columbia. The big bottoms belong to a species of ants called hormigas culonas - big-bottomed ants - that are considered quite a delicacy. Besides being high in protein, they are considered an aphrodisiac. Naturally!

"When a burning morning sun follows a night of rain, female ants leave their underground colony to take their nuptial flight, exposing themselves to ant hunters who flock the hillsides in hot pursuit of the ants' tasty rear ends."

I think I'll stick to popcorn.

Reality TV and Spanking

Wouldn't it be funny if, during an episode of a reality show, the participants unexpectedly discovered that TTWD goes on?

Maybe on an episode of Hoarders, the declutterers uncover a stash of spanking implements beneath the piles of old newspapers.

"I wondered where those paddles had got to. What? Yes, I do need thirty, as a matter of fact."

Or perhaps on House Hunters, the couple looking for a larger house is shown that special room on the third floor. Pity the poor real estate agent trying to sell this property.

"Er, yes, this furniture is a little unusual. The straps are probably removable.  I'm not sure why they have those chains hanging from the ceiling, but you can easily covert this space into... Come to think of it, I guess this is the Master suite.

I actually saw a similar scene on a show in which the adult children arrange for their parents to go out of town, then hire a team to renovate and update their old-fashioned home. The children and decorators were in their parents' bedroom, and the son reached under the bed and pulled out a container.

"Oops!" he said, and slid the box back under. We never found out what secrets were stored inside, but my guess is their spanking secret was exposed along with the dust bunnies!

Rule 34 Expanded

Did you know that there are 100 rules of the internet? Out of all of them, Rule 34 seems to generate the most attention.

What is Rule 34? If something exists, it can be looked at in a sexual way.

I never realized it before, but it occurs to me that the philosophy of this blog is an extension of Rule 34: if it exists, it has something to do with spanking. I propose that this be called Rule 34s.

All in favour, say "Ow."

Uneven

Last week Ron finished off our spanking session with a twist.

He had begun with the leather belt, and after a stingy start, I had settled in to enjoy the luxurious ouch that only leather can produce. Each swat landed across both cheeks, doubling both pleasure and pain.

"Now for the finale," he said, and, picking up a brown wooden paddle, he proceeded to paddle my left cheek. After several swats he stopped, regarded the effect, then paddled it some more.

"Hey!" I protested. "What are you doing? What about the right side? I'm feeling uneven."

"I'm trying to even you up," he explained as he continued. "Your right cheek is darker than your left, so I'm evening them up."

"What?" Then I realized what has happened. "The right side got more from the end of the belt, and the other side only got the middle."

"That's right, so I'm fixing it." Ron is so meticulous, and sometimes that's a good thing.This time, I'm not so sure.

So my question to you is, when a belt is your spanking implement, do you give - or get - strokes on both cheeks at once? Or are they delivered to one cheek at a time?

The Belt Survey I like the belt to be applied: To both cheeks at once First one cheek then the other A combination of both We don't use a belt Current Results

From the Top Shelf - The Da Vinci Code

Ron mentioned the other day that The Da Vinci Code contained a flagellation scene, and was amused when I couldn't recall it.

"I can't believe you'd forget something like that."

Neither could I. But then I remembered that I hadn't actually read the book; I had listened to an audiobook that had possibly been abridged and therefore hadn't contained that part. I hunted for and retrieved our copy of the book, then started turning the pages.

I didn't have to turn many before I found the prize:

Pain is good.

...

When Silas hung up the phone, his skin tingled with anticipation. One hour, he told himself... I must purge myswlf of today's sins.... Forgiveness was assured. Even so, Silas knew, absolution required sacrifice.

Pulling his shades, he stripped naked and knelt in the centre of his room. Looking down, he examined the spiked cilice belt clamped around his thigh...a leather strap, studded with sharp metal barbs... The pain caused by the device also helped counteract the desires of the flesh.

Although Silas had already worn his cilice today longer than the requisite two hours, he knew today was no ordinary day. Grasping the buckle, he cinched it one notch tighter, wincing as the barbs dug deeper into his flesh. Exhaling slowly, he savoured the cleansing ritual of his pain.

Pain is good, Silas whispered...

Silas turned his attention now to a heavy knotted rope coiled neatly on the floor beside him. The Discipline. the knots were caked with dried blood. Eager for the purifying effects of his own agony, Silas said a quick prayer. Then, gripping one end of the rope, he closed his eyes and swung it hard over his shoulder, feeling the knots slap against his back. He whipped it over his shoulder again, slashing at his flesh. Again and again, he lashed.

Castigo corpus meum.

You Completed the Caption

Many of you took time out from celebrating Canada Day and Independence Day to come up with some side-splitting captions! 


Simon(e): Unfortunately for Hermione the only thing on Simon's mind was whether he could get that delightful outfit and undies in his size.

Season: "Catch me if you can-can."

Her Toy:  You didn't think that the honeymoon was for us, did you? Oh, poor baby...

Kaki: Scarlet says, Oh my, Rhett it seems that I forgot my knickers.
Rhett says, frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn.

Ronnie: Oh Ronald wait, we can't go yet as I've forgotten to put my knickers on, look.

Spankedhortic II: And Marilyn Monroe thought that she was the first one to pull the air vent trick.

Scunge: You've seen London,you've seen France now you see my underpants!

Bobbie Jo: Rhett Butler! You'll have to catch me first before you even THINK of using THAT on me! Not that I mind, of course.

Mindy: "What you see is what you get ... if you manage to lay your hands on me."

Lea: In reply to whatever he asked, she's saying "make me".

Anonymous: "Why don't you come up and spank me sometime?"

Daisychain: There's only one guy in frame...but, who knows how many out of frame?  I think she is saying "Come on, guys, first one to catch me gets to spank me!!!!"

Mindset: "looks as round and tasty as a peach, but I bet it is sweeter to bite into!"

Hermione: When he woke up that morning, Charles knew that his visit to the library would be a memorable experience.


Thank you to all who participated. Next week I have something something special planned. Don't miss it!