Hermione's Heart

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Punch and (ouch!) Judy

Last week Chross posted a wonderful clip of a rather unexpected paddling scene on a popular mainstream television show.

The sketch is from an episode of The Carol Burnett Show that aired nearly forty years ago, with guest star Vincent Price as the narrator, and Carol and Joel Grey performing as puppets. In their song, Punch and Judy reveal the secret of their long and happy relationship.

As a side note, this is my 1500th published post. Whew! That's lot of blogging!

Monday, January 14, 2013

From the Top Shelf - Airport Check-in

A regular contributor to the weekly Complete the Caption, Michael M, is also a gifted story-teller. Each Sunday he publishes a "spanklet" which is, in his own words, "a very short story where an individual is spanked or caned."

I found a gem of a story and I'd like to share a portion of it with you today. A traveler in an unnamed country is checking in at the airport. His luggage is over the weight limit and he had been asked to pay an extra fee, but he refuses and generally makes himself offensive to the woman behind the desk. She summons the manager who politely escorts Mr. Traveler into her office, and this is where it gets interesting.

“Put your bag down, sir.”

He did as he was told. The airline manager seemed to have lost her smile and she spoke with some authority in her voice.

“Now listen to me young man, the days of empire are well and truly over. You can no longer go around demanding things in this country and you certainly cannot use foul language in front of my staff. Do you understand?”

Taken by surprise by her attack, he mumbled “Yes”. He was being to panic a little bit.

“It’s Ma’am to you!”

He stared at her, nearly ready to adopt an arrogant attitude but changed his mind. Now was not a good time to argue he decided.

“Yes ma’am.”

“You need to learn some manners, but I am feeling generous so I will offer you a choice in how you learn that lesson. You can either stay in this room for two days, miss your flight and pay for a new ticket or,” she paused, “or my colleague here will deal with you in a traditional manner of my country.”

He turned to glance at the slim athletic looking woman in the smart green uniform. She gave him a look that made his blood run cold.

As if on cue, the police officer moved to a cupboard on the wall and opened it to show an array of half a dozen canes neatly arranged on horizontal hooks.

“Well, I’m waiting for an answer.” The manager spoke sharply

“I can’t stay here,” he complained. “I’m due back at work tomorrow and I don’t have enough money to buy another ticket.”

“In that case we will deal with the matter quickly and you may still catch this flight.”

The woman nodded at the police officer and he heard the rattle of a cane being lifted from its fixing.”

“Go over to that bench and lower your trousers.”

In a daze he did as he had been instructed. The police woman stood menacingly to one side of the bench, holding the cane in both hands, as he slowly unbuckled his belt and let the trousers fall to the floor.

“Now bend over.” came a second command.

Slowly he lowered himself over the leather topped stool. His torso was at an angle and his head was now below his waist. In a quick movement the airline employee knelt to fasten each wrist to the legs of the frame and then, darting swiftly behind him, she yanked his shorts down to his feet, before passing a belt across the back of his knees and buckling it tightly.

As he lay there, with a trembling in the pit of his stomach, he watched the polished brown shoes of the police officer take up position to the left of his feet. He could just see the tip of the long cane quivering near her ankles

“Give him twelve hard strokes officer. That should be sufficient.”

Read the entire story here.

Be sure to visit Michael's blog, Disciplined Behaviour, and check out his library of spanklets. You will find them in a dropdown menu on the right. Have fun!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

You Completed the Caption

These fine fellows are obviously spanking enthusiasts, judging from your captions:

Dragon's Rose: Son, you will never be too old for me to spank. Now take it like a man.

Sunnygirl: Brokeback Mountain in the flatlands.

Michael: Few people knew that genius inventors Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931) and Alexander Graham Bell (1847 - 1922) would motivate each other to reach new heights in their work.

SNP: "Charles, it is an easy enough thing to do--spanking your wife. Here, you hold the paddle and I'll climb over your lap to show you."

Ronnie: Go on, dare you to spank him.

Lillie: Are you sure this is going to help with the hearing loss?

Ian and I ROFL at Sunny's comment - too funny!

Ian: "OH! ...um - how long have you been standing there?"

Bonnie: Apparently this birthday tradition goes back farther than anyone recognized.

Bobbie Jo: You may be a professor at the university, but that doesn't mean I can't take you across my lap and whack some smarts into you.

Sir Qs mlb: Yes, I lay the wife over my knee like this an she gets all excited when I use the wooden plank. Are you ready Alfred?

You'll have to give it a go with your little misses.

Kingspan: It all started with Brother William's cat escaping into the meadow. The village elders completely misunderstood his comment that he was "going out to chase Pussy."

Sir Wendel Jones: What really started the Hatfield / McCoy feud. . .

Abby Sage: This is not quite what we were thinking for the "Fifty Shades of Grey" poster - but thanks for trying.

Prefectdt: If you think this wuppin's bad. just wait till you find out what the cat has been trained to do to you.

Hermione: What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Let's do this again next week. See you then!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Complete the Caption

You never know what secrets you will uncover as you look through the old family album. These two gentlemen seem to be enjoying an afternoon in the orchard, but is there more to the story?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will display your entries in the next post.