Monday, June 14, 2010

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for June 13

This week's brunch, relocated from My Bottom Smarts to its remote northern location, was about telling (or not telling) medical practitioners of your preference for spanking.

Ally - I think I would feel the most comfortable sharing that with my gynecologist, probably because she is a woman, around my age, very outgoing and funny. I would probably make a joke about it, I don't know if I could seriously, flat out say it. If I had bruises that I needed to explain I guess I would just go ahead and say it though.

Poppy - I would sooner eat my own legs. :)

I did have to once because it was relevant and it was fine. I think a bit of spanking is not what bothers people. But normally, I would rather eat my own legs.

Daisychain - OH, MY!!!! Absolutely, categorically NOT! Bruises on my ass? I fell on the stairs. But, unless it was an emergency appointment and I already had bruises, I would make sure I didn't get a spanking before a doctors appointment! I would ask Davey to postpone any such activities, and he is considerate and kind and would do so...he has promised to never embarrass me through TTWD.

Underling - I certainly wouldn't bring it up voluntarily, although I suspect that any medical practitioner who's been around for a while has probably seen it all and wouldn't bat an eyelid.

If I ever had to be 'bare back there' unexpectedly, I doubt I'd get away with Daisychain's excuse of having fallen down stairs - unless I'd somehow collided with a dozen canes, straps and paddles en route!

Welcome, Underling!

Jane - Interesting topic, and I will comment from both sides of the fence. I have been a family doc for 30 years, have never had anyone tell me. I sometimes wonder, since discovering the spanking world and how many of us there are, if any last minute cancellations are due to bruises she doesn't want to explain. And I have never told my doctor, my spanker usually doesn't leave a trace.

So, who knows, your doc could be a spanko too!

Thanks, Jane, for presenting both perspectives.

Thomas - There's a lot of spankos in the medical field, so it's highly likely that they'll not only be unfazed by your admission, but they might share a story or two of their own.

As the spanker, it's never been relevant for me to reveal to a doctor what I do (not that I go to the doctor more than once every few years). There was an issue, though, in which I forced Joyce to admit to her doctor about spanking. She had a sore on her bottom that refused to heal, and we didn't know why. During any spanking play, the area would appear fine until a few hard strokes were dealt, and then the area would start to pool blood under the surface like a blood blister. If she didn't explain to her doctor how it came into existence, then the doctor might not have been able to diagnose properly. As it turns out, it was an infection that wasn't allowing the area to heal properly. She was put on antibiotics and instructed to not get spanked for a couple of weeks, but that was it.

Being 100% "out" in the spanking scene, I would come right out with any doctor that I was a spanko if it somehow pertained to the situation. ("My hand can't be broken, Doc. I spank with that one. Can't you put a cast on my left hand, instead?") When in Joyce's doctor's office, I actually threatened Joyce with a spanking if she didn't follow the doctor's orders. The doctor just smiled.

Morningstar - I can't say I openly talked to my doctor about my lifestyle.

The very first time I went to her - for a full physical - she saw my piercing and my tattoos. She asked multiple questions about my piercing - but mostly curiosity stuff - did it hurt?? did it stimulate my clit continually?? that sort of stuff.

She has since seen knife work carved in my skin and a few other marks. She has never inquired into what caused them.

I would say she is aware of what I am doing but it doesn't much bother her. Perhaps it helps that I am over 21 (wayyyyyy over) and quite capable of making my own decisions. shrug

Jean - Have to say, I would never tell my doctors. I don't think they would understand.

Zille Defeu - Yes, I have and would – but that’s because I live in a very kink-friendly part of the world. I’ve had the good fortune of being able to go to both a doctor and a therapist who were not just kink-friendly, but kink-enthusiastic! I’ve never actually seen my doctor at play parties in the city, but my husband has and he said it’s a wee bit weird, but in a good way!

However, even doctors whom I have and still see who are not so hip, they end up knowing a good deal about me, and if/when I tell them I do kinky stuff, they are not surprised. I have two tattoos, and I have scars from where I used to cut myself in high school. Also, up until a few years ago, I had three genital piercings. So any medical professional who saw my pink bits came to the conclusion pretty fast that I might have a rather interesting sex life!

This has led to me being treated poorly, in a few cases. I’ve been treated as if I was obviously not well mentally-balanced, and also as if I was a slut. One time, when I had an ovarian cyst, the doctor asked if I could be pregnant. As I’d only been having sex with a women for about three months, I told him that it would have to be a miracle, as I had done nothing which could get me pregnant. He then left the room and I heard him tell the nurse, “And give her the pregnancy test!” He could have gone a little further away to prove he didn’t trust me! I was about to get about five sorts of blood-tests done, so I wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t been such an ass!

A good resource for learning about how to handle this stuff has actually been written about *by my doctor!* Health Care Without Shame: A Handbook for the Sexually Diverse and Their Caregivers.

Dr. Ken - I would sooner eat Poppy's legs. :-)

I have never told my doctor about my spanking activities. For that matter, I've never told ANYONE about my fascination with This Thing We Do. And I don't see that changing any time soon.

In fact, it would probably take nothing less than the threat of amputation to drag it out of me: "No, Doc! That's my spanking arm!"

Anonymous - I would tell my health care professional without hesitation if it were pertinent to what we were doing, or if there was a possibility of a misunderstanding.

I saw a mental health care pro for about 5 years. In that kind of therapy, you get what you put into it, and I wasn't going to be evasive, especially when my spouse and I were trying to mediate some of our sexual differences.

Mentioning the desire for a spanking led to some discussions with my therapist about what was acceptable. For some reason, he used examples of people pooping and peeing on each other when discussing consensual needs--a type of play which I pointed out was not my thing. After five or six times of this, I said, "You're kind of fixated on this pooping and peeing thing. Do you have some unmet needs that you'd like to discuss?"

I say this without rancor, as I was kind of teasing him about it. He took the hint and stuck to the type of specifics that were pertinent. I think the discussion actually made him a better therapist.

Overall, though, unless it's pertinent to treatment, a doctor doesn't care and pretty much doesn't want to know what you do in the privacy of your own home any more than you want to think about your parents having hot monkey sex all over their furniture the minute you move out.

I mean, PARENTS. Perspective. Gotta have perspective.

Ronnie - I can't imagine any circumstances in which I would want or need to volunteer that sort of personal information to my doctor. I can, however, imagine (dread), depending on recent activities, having to make a quick decision if I had to have some treatment which unexpectedly involved revealing my bottom to a doctor or nurse. If I had tell-tale marks, and if I was asked, would I be bold and say 'Oh yes, I was spanked' and just brush it off, or would I make up some story? But too many 'ifs', not likely to happen.

Katia - I don't think I would reveal my secret outright. If I did have bruises and was asked, I would just say I was spanked playfully. I agree would Ronnie, I wouldn't elaborate.

Prefectdt - I have talked to two doctors about my kink. The first was a clinical psychologist, that was important, it was she who recommended that I started playing again. The second is my regular doctor, as I thought it wise to find out if it was a problem to carry on playing with my genetic blood disorder, he giggled a bit and I suspect that he thought that I was joking but did say that with all the injuries that I had visited him with from my Horticultural activities that he would have to tell me to give up working before he could tell me to give up getting spanked (he was removing some stitches from my left leg at the time).

Scunge - I actually have told my doctor. I have several heath issues and wanted her to know in case it in any way affected those. She also happens to be my parents doctor and totally agreed with me that they need NEVER know I am into TTWD. She also said this was the first time any of her patients had ever told her about this. She wasn't even embarrassed shows you just how good a doctor she is. Now even though I live an hour away when I am sick I still go back to see her!

Elisabeth - I have never found it relevant to discuss spanking with my doctor. I suppose if I was in a situation where I thought my health or care would be impacted, I'd have to confess, but I am not quite open enough to say it would be at all easy to do! Sebastien has only spanked me once when there were marks that lasted more than an hour or two, and like Daisychain said, he would postpone a spanking until after the doctor's appointment to prevent being discovered!

A-Non - Absolutely not. I can't imagine a circumstance that would make me want to disclose such an interest to a medical professional. I guess if he/she asked about bruises, I would simply say, "They were placed there when I was having fun", or something vague like that.

I once made my excuses and left an appointment (that was keeping me waiting too long anyway and I had kids to pick up at school), because I thought, "I might still be pink, or maybe there are some broken blood vessels"!

Hermione - By telling our family doctor about my preferences, I would be outing Ron as well as myself, so there is little chance of my doing so. If I were consulting a medical practitioner about a sexually-related problem, I might mention spanking if it was pertinent to the discussion, but that would be the only reason I would ever divulge anything about our intimate activities.

Bonnie will be away for a while longer, so please come back next week for another brunch discussion on a very different topic.

From Hermione's Heart


ronnie said...

Good brunch Hermione.

Look forward to next weeks.


elisabeth said...

Thanks for hosting Hermione! This was an interesting topic. For some reason, my name isn't hyperlinked in the post. :(

Hermione said...

Ronnie - Thank you. i was very pleased with the good response.

Elisbeth - Sorry about that. It's linked now.


elisabeth said...

Thanks! :)

Anonymous said...

Great topic. I am an F/M guy who has a female MD. If she were exmaining me and discovered tell-tales signs, I would need to tell her and could do so without a problem. But we DO schedule our play around such appointments in order to keep things private.