From the Top Shelf - Preoccupied Dominatrix

Today I have some excerpts from another tongue in cheek article in The Onion to share with you.

Dominatrix Seems Preoccupied

RENO, NV—Local submissive Jack Traden announced Monday that his dominatrix, Mistress Varla of DV8, seems to have more on her mind than his humiliation.

"Mistress Varla hasn't been herself lately," Traden said. "Last week, she commanded me to lick her boots clean, but when I finished, she just stared off into space."

"The whipping—it's all over the place," Traden said. "I don't know whether she's trying to whip my ass or my elbows. It's just not the same getting flogged by someone who's barely paying attention. And her ordering-around has been totally indecisive."

Added Traden: "I've seen her like this before—last year, when she lost her job at the bank."
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Traden said he has no idea why Mistress Varla seems so distant, but noted that he is unlikely to find out.

"To ask about her personal life would be an inappropriate breach of the B&D code," Traden said. "But that doesn't mean I'm not worried about her. She's very special to me, but if I told her that, she probably wouldn't put me on the spanking rack for a long time."
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Although he could find a new dominatrix, Traden said he believes in loyalty.

"I've been with Mistress Varla too long to call it quits," Traden said. "There's a bond that would be difficult to reproduce. When I'm under her boot, it feels like a second home to me. When she's focused, there's no one in the world who can make me feel more like a worm than she can."

In spite of this praise, Traden said he "can't keep paying top dollar for second-rate domination."

"I like to be debased, but I'm no chump," Traden said. "I might have to take a break from being her chattel while she gets her head together. After a little break, I'm sure before you know it I'll be lashed to the floor, covered in hot wax, and happier than ever."

Read the full article here.