Sunday, March 10, 2013

You Completed the Caption

There was quite a stir in the classroom over this photo. Here are your thoughts:

Simon: "Are you sure that this photoshoot is just for a knitwear company, we do seem to be holding canes in an awful lot of the pictures?"

Joey: "I am glad that you had the two boys stand in the back of the room facing the corner so we could see their bottoms."
"I will cane that naughty Joey bent over the desk and you can spank Michael over your knee."
"And, of course, we must switch places after they are both glowing red."

Lady Koregan: Now, I know it's only your first day, but it's vitally important that you switch one of the boys with that pointer during the morning's lessons. They will all try to test you and you must establish from the very start that you will tolerate no nonsense in your classroom.

That boy in the back there on the left, Billy Martin, I saw him at the Malt Shop last night acting the fool until quite late so I doubt he has his homework. He'll do for your first target. No less than twelve strokes. They'll see mercy as weakness. You don't want that...

Bonnie: "Algebra with Miss Hopkins was a real pain in the butt."
Ricky: Do you want to play check(h)ers later?

Penelope: "You know Carol, I really think you're onto something with your formula. Horseplay equals the square root of strokes with the cane - brilliant!"
"Thanks, Rose! I think we should probably test it further, though. Let's give them all another six!"

Why are we standing in front of this blackboard? We aren’t teachers! I don’t know either.

I have a little secret.
What…Tell me!
Mr. Bendingweather gave me a spanking with this stick last night,
You are so lucky. It took me three weeks to get the “Bendingweather Welcome” from him.

They have a huge sale at Macy’s today. Why do we blow off these juvenile delinquents and go get a couple of new purses.

Why are all of our male students at least 40 years old and dressed like school-boys?
I was noticing the same thing. It’s really strange!

One old teacher talking to another: “Did you give those really cute substitute teachers the address to the spanking party instead of the school? Yes I did!”

I have a big problem Mabel. I got spanked by my husband last night and I can’t sit down.
Me too, I guess we teach this class standing up the whole time. This is going to be a LONG three hours.

It’s March 9, 2013. Why are we dressed like its 1958? These kids will never stop laughing at us!

You look like a “Hussy” in that pointy bra!
Hussy or not I’ll have you know Mr. Bendingweather just asked me to dinner on Saturday.
Can I borrow it tomorrow? I have my eye on Jimmy, the new football coach! I’m hoping for a “touchdown”
No problem. 

Ronnie: You won't cane me too hard, will you? Remember were only acting.

Sir Wendel Jones: I bet they’re all imagining we’re thinking of caning someone.

Abby Williams:
American Brunette Teacher's Assistant: "I was thinking this time, you could cane me over my pleated skirt. After all, when I graded those papers, it was only the wrong answers about the American Revolution that I missed."

British Blonde Teacher, laughing: "No pandering, my dear! It's true that when they had their tea party, they entirely missed the Vicars and Whores theme I like to include in my tea parties! But you have to be clever if you want to make a difference, and you have to have your facts straight, no matter what the theme of your tea party. Teachers are meant to make a difference, and you missed some basic facts, so it's on the bare for you."

Sunnygirl: You do know this is only for pointing right?

Michael:  Hermione's freshman college geometry class. Professor Marguerite Flamme is discussing with Yvette Chaleur, her teaching assistant, the best way to demonstrate parallel lines. They decide to use the cane to raise red parallel lines on a pristine derrière.

Professor Flamme announces: "Hermione, please come to the front of the class."

Six of the best: 
Female teacher on the right."The headmaster has invited me to his study after school. He mentioned to bring the cane."
Female teacher on the left. "He also invited me. When he said 'I wish to get to the 'bottom of your problem.'" And with a wink, "Bare bottom".

Prefectdt: This is my first interview for a teaching position. Is it usual to have to cane the Headmaster, on these occasions?

Minelle: I am smiling so know one suspects me of hiding this cane.

Anon: I really like these country schools and that young man's bottom is going to get kissed by Mrs. Cane and more than one kiss on his bare bottom.

Kingspan: I'm sorry you drew the short straw, dear, but until we started caning demonstrations on a teacher, we could never get the fathers to attend parent visitation night.

A. Lurker:
An invigilator and a disciplinarian - Miss Creant's Academy for Girls was really getting serious about their zero tolerance for cheating policy.

If you cheat, you will get beat was the latest government policy on education.

Student teacher: I think the boy in the back of the 5th row is cheating. Should I administer six strokes?
Experienced teacher: Very observant! You will make a wonderful teacher when you graduate. However school policy dictates that only those on payroll may administer discipline.

Dave Wolfe: "Psst! Excuse yourself for a few minutes and come down to my office-- I got all worked up reading Hermione's blog and need your-- assistance!!"

Hermione: See that tall boy in the back row? I'll call him up to the blackboard to solve these equations and you "correct" him each time he gets the wrong answer.

Thank you all for participating this weekend. I hope you all enjoy a productive week.

From Hermione's Heart

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