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Simon: I'm telling you, no-one is even going to notice that we're not wearing crash helmets.

Baxter: I knew if I wore just my thong I would feel a lot more of the vibrations from this motorcycle. I am about to climax, again.

Leigh: Wonder how many accidents this sight may have caused.

Ricky: Just warming up the motorcycle.

Ronnie: It's not fair. I thought I'd get my bottom smacked at least once dressed like this.

Anon 1: I really wish I hadn’t been such a brat about his driving because the first chance he gets, he’s going to pull over, put me over his knee, and give me a sound spanking. And since I’m only wearing this thong, once we get back on the bike, everyone will be able to see what a naughty girl I’ve been.

Dr. Ken: She: This back seat is too warm!
He: Quit whining, or when we get home, it's gonne be YOUR back seat that gets warmed!

Anon 2: If I'd known we were going to a spanking party after the beach, I would have brought along a pair of shorts. I think he didn't tell me on purpose just so I'd be riding home with my bright red bottom on display. If these people think they're getting an eyeful now, just wait until they see what my bottom looks like after it's gone a couple of rounds with a variety of hairbrushes and paddles. It's bad enough that I have to ride home on the back of this bike with a sore bottom, but knowing the whole world can see his handiwork will be really, really embarrassing ... and such a turn on.

Jim M: Janice and I belong to Spanks Angels, Spankoland’s premiere (and totally law abiding) motorcycle club. Every Saturday morning about 150 couples roll into the Hairbrush Road Mall parking lot for a “spank in.” If you have never seen it, you really should come. Just imagine, 150 bottoms getting spanked all at the same time. What a sight! What a sound! You can wander around, take pictures, or just cheer us on. Then, when everyone is finished, we do our “Rolling Thunder-Red Butt” parade the full length of Bright Bottom Boulevard. 150 gorgeous red bottoms flying past on 150 gorgeous motorcycles.

Sir Wendel: To Walmart we will go,
To Walmart we will go,
Heigh ho the derry-o,
To Walmart we will go.

Anon 3: Does this thong make my butt look big?

Anon 4: I wish he'd spanked me before we left home so my bum would be nice and red. Maybe then all these guys who are admiring my beautiful bottom would be inspired to paddle all those bitchy women who are frowning, yelling and making nasty gestures at me. Well ... maybe on the way back.

Hermione: Wasn't that policeman nice, to give me a spanking instead of giving you a ticket for riding without a helmet?