Do you believe that spanking is a "gateway" to BDSM? Has your interest in spanking led you to explore aspects of BDSM that you otherwise would not have considered?
As usual, leave your response as a comment, and I will publish a summary of our conversation after everyone has had a chance to speak.
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14 comments:
Sorry if this is a duplicate post. Just learning the site.
Yes, my gf and I have a mutual DD relationship and spanking has
Evolved into more and varied VDSM play.
Michael
elwoodmichael28@gmail.com
No. I don't believe in "gateways" unless the term is used strictly in the sense of an 'ice-breaker'. As a slippery slope pathway however, no. And I think the proof for this is quite simple. There are a myriad of BDSM activities and there are practitioners of some that are simply not into others (spanking included). You could be into BDSM bondage and not want to get spanked, and you can like a good spanking yet not want to have a plug in your bottom, and so on. Having an interest in spanking can easily coincide with other fetishes and interests, and often do.....(Hell could be the poster-child for this! LOL) but it is not a 'given'. A person could very easily have a 'stand alone' spanking interest with no other cross-over, and indulging that spanking interest isn't going to alter that. Now if someone has other, possibly buried, interests, starting out with spanking could well open the field to trying the others, but I would not say that's a 'gateway' in the sense that it is usually used.
Not a bit for most people.
Of all the people I know who like spanking, none are interested in any other aspects of BDSM.
It wasn't, not for me. Actually, BDSM was a gateway to spanking for us. We were more D/s and bondage and less impact stuff at first!
I think it depends on the person and what their leanings are to begin with.
It is not for us. We just like to spank each other and not interested in anything more extreme.
For me the answer is yes. All I was interested in was spanking....never even had considered BDSM....M, in his wise way, slowly introduced me to 'pleasures' of it.
hugs abby
For us over time the level of intensity and implements increased and spanking did on occasion lead to other activities such as light bondage, clamps etc
Hugs
Roz
In our case it was. We started out what many would consider a Dd couple and that moved into what is basically classified in this corner of blogland ( or my impression is) to D/s. Barney uses BDSM as play and to 'reset' us. It is more for his enjoyment than mine. LOL. But the end result is always good- much like spanking. For us spanking has physical limitations, so this is where other BDSM activities come into play. All in all it allows us to get back to our roles when life pulls us apart.
Prior to our Dd life and spanking, I never ONCE considered BDSM.
willie
Hi Hermione, :)
I don't think that it is necessarily a gateway unless one wants it to be. Though our focus day to day is on spanking, I'd say that we dabble in D/s lite too. I've always looked at it as ttwd "with a twist of D/s"! We found just the right balance for the dynamic that we have. Can be lots of fun! ;)
Many hugs,
<3 Katie
For us, it worked kind of the opposite. We started off with "play spanking" that we never really labeled as BDSM but it basically was a form of BDSM "scening." We also experimented with some other BDSM-oriented kinkiness. But, my wife grew concerned that play-acting a scene in which I was fake punished for real bad conduct might actually reinforce the bad conduct. I then stumbled across the concept of spanking as a form of adult discipline -- otherwise known as Domestic Discipline -- and we gave it a try. Now, we use spanking exclusively as discipline, and most of the BDSM activities have stopped.
So, I don't see spanking as a "gateway" so much as a very flexible means to all sorts of ends. It can be erotic or disciplinary, play-acting or all too real.
I really enjoyed this piece, – thanks so much for articulating fantasy v. reality in such a sweet, engaging way. A pleasure to read!
It is fantastic to hear other people’s experiences with a lifestyle situation that is so honest and real.
I never really thought of BDSM before spanking but over time, we've done the roll play, different implements, clamps, little bondage so I suppose the answer is a sort of yes as we would never have tried the other had we not started spanking.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
We don’t really use the phrase BDSM. But my wife first spanked me in 1980, and we’ve extended our activities in many ways since then.
I was the one who first asked to be spanked. It took her a little while to get into it, but then she sent me out to buy a riding crop. Then it was toys so she could violate my bottom.
She also dresses me in panties and will spank me and put me to bed in a frilly pink nightgown.
I’m often bound at the head and feet in bed - just loose enenough so I can turn over. She’ll thrash my bottom, then turn me over and sit on my face - I call it reverse cowgirl cunnilingus. Usually I’m tied up when we have sex. But sometimes she’ll leave me tied up for awhile waiting and wanting.
She doesn’t wear leather, but does have a number of sexy outfits that she wears.
Is this BDSM? I don’t know.
Rosco
No. Never. And never will be. She hates spanking me but still does it bless her but neither of us are interested in anything more.
Yorkie
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