Friday, December 4, 2009

Friday FAIL

Pervertables that shouldn't give up their day jobs in the vanilla world.

Color Sticks
Toss two or three color sticks near the base of a crackling fire to create sparkling, multi-colored flames. They'll create brilliant, varied colors - encouraging warm fireside chats and wonderful memories. Natural hardwood. More than 30 pieces per package. Basket not included.

I'm not opposed to wooden implements, especially those made from hardwood, but I'd rather not take the risk of having them burst into flames when my bottom heats up. I like the basket, though. Pity it isn't included.

Personalized Weighted Bookmark
Traditional and very handy for all readers. Weighted ends hold the book open without breaking its spine, and the suede face stops sliding. We’ll personalize with three gold initials. Leather back, suede face.

Traditional? Obviously not for spanking. I've never had a personalized implement before. But "weighted" sounds kind of ominous, so I'll pass on these, even though I love leather.



On those colour sticks, it looks like the corners might be a bit too sharp (Icky!) but I would be prepared to try the weighted bookmarks.


Fabsterrant said...

No doubt more people suffer from the "burst into flames" syndrome. That must be why back pockets were invented. Lovers in love are often seen taking measurements. Perhaps they are frisking one another for bookmarks.

LOL, Fab

Hermione said...

Prefectdt - I agree - too pointy. They would leave major bruises.

Fab - That's too funny. I can picture someone bursting into flames during a spanking!


Impish1 said...

The weighted bookmarks aren't bad, but you do have to go easy...

Kaiser said...

Perhaps these would be useful in the hands of elves, or Hobbits.

They are entirely too small to be wielded by those with real mitts.

Jadedjewel said...

Don't think I'd like either one. I'd be afraid to get splinter in my hiney, but you could probably make a wicked little paddle if you shaped, sanded and laquered it. I don't know about the book marks. They look like they could be hard to handle and too small.

ronnie said...

I think I'd agree and pass on them as well Hermione.

Thought I like the weighted bookmarks, make a good vanilla present.


Hermione said...

Impish1 - Ooh, you've tried one?

Kaiser - Yes, they're pretty small. But intriguing.

Jadedjewel - My thoughts exactly.

Ronnie - Good idea. Vanilla wins this round!


Anonymous said...

Very cute post! The color sticks are especially fitting for a Harry Potter themed site - almost like floo powder with the color-changing fire.

Hermione said...

Anonymous - What a great observation! Frankly, the whole floo idea makes me very seasick even to think about!

I'm glad you dropped by.