Sunday, May 9, 2010

Green-eyed Monster

Last week I received an email from a regular reader. Usually I enjoy hearing from people who read my blog, but this letter saddened me. This particular reader, who enjoys my blog for many reasons, had made the decision to discontinue reading it. The reason? My stories and vignettes of spanking activities with my husband had caused a high degree of envy; further reading would only increase that envy. (This reader would like to have a spanking relationship, but sees no possibility of that ever happening.)

In recent weeks I have noticed here and there that other bloggers sometimes indicate envy or jealousy over other bloggers' spanking activities. It's a shame. That's not to say it isn't a perfectly normal reaction in some circumstances, but it's still too bad.

I'm not immune to this green-eyed feeling myself. I have felt more than a twinge of jealousy when reading about ritual birthday spankings, roleplaying fun, swatfests in exotic locales, or any number of other scenarios that are just not likely to happen for me. Daily paddling? Only in my dreams. And you all know about my unsuccessful quest for the hour-long session!

We all write for many reasons, but I don't think that one of them is to make other people unhappy. And I guess that thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence is a pretty common way trap we all fall into from time to time.

So, what can I say? What comes to mind is the warning not to judge a person until you have walked a mile in his or her shoes. We all have our ups and downs; nobody's life is totally without some clouds to obscure the rainbows. I write to entertain, to amuse, and sometimes to inform. I have always tried to keep this blog upbeat and fun. But while everything I write is true, the posts are small snapshots taken out of the context of a much larger and quite ordinary picture. It's possible that if I shared other snippets, your reaction might be, "Oh, that's so boring", "I wouldn't want to live like that", "Ron puts up with more than I would" or "I'm glad I'm not her!"

So, dear readers, if you're reading this, I'm glad you came back.

From Hermione's Heart


PK said...

I'm sorry you lost a reader, and I'm even sorrier for her. Of course I don't know her situation but I know I went for nearly 50 years not believing I could have a spanking relationship. It was the wonderful bloggers I found her that gave me the courage to really go for wanted and continuing to read helps us continue TTWD.

Thanks for sharing a little of your life with us.


Bonnie said...

Hi Hermione,

I've fielded similar comments before and my reaction is similar to yours. I tell the reader via e-mail and occasionally on the blog that what I write about is not all there is. I focus on the good stuff because that's what is worth writing/reading.

I am quite certain no one wants to hear about my doctor's appointment or car troubles or cat barf or any of a hundred other uninteresting and off topic trivialities.

I wish everyone with an interest in spanking had the opportunity to experience it. I feel the same way about parenthood, travel, and all of life's pleasures. But in reality, we can only do what our circumstances permit.

This might make a good brunch topic, if you don't mind.



There is nothing wrong with "That's nice for you, I wish I had that too" kind of jealousy, that just spurs people on to get the good stuff for themselves. The resentful type of jealousy, on the other hand can be a very bad thing and if the reader was straying into that territory, then it is probably a good thing that they stopped reading, rather than getting all uptight about things.

I have to admit that I am jealous (type one jealousy) of you and others that have found a sound relationship with a Top or Dom(me) and would like to experience that myself. But on the other hand if I had that, might I not be looking with envious eyes at those like myself now, who have the thrill of the unknown and the next adventure to look forward to.


Unknown said...

Hermione: Well stated. This is just a little part of our lives, and the other parts of our life are not shared online,and are actually more important than this small part. Read, enjoy, laugh.

Our Bottoms Burn said...

We have gotten a few notes expressing some envy of our spanking relationship, but I never thought that it could led to a reader to stop reading spanking Blogs.

We Blog for a few reasons. First to share a little of what we do with each other as normal in relationship. Second, to help us in working through our own thoughts on spanking. But, I sure hope we don't come across as bragging.

Hermione said...

PK - It's true that bloggers can provide a lot of mutual support to all of us like-minded individuals.

Bonnie - I think this would make a wonderful brunch topic. Please be my guest.

And believe it or not, there are blogs that do focus on the minutiae of animals' digestive mishaps.

Prefectdt - You raise a good point. When I read about the creative things that others do, it often prompts me to try things I otherwise would not have thought of.

Red - Yes, there are other parts that are just as important, if not more so. Blogging should be fun for writers and readers alike.

OBB - No, you don't sound like you are bragging. Your reasons for blogging are very good ones, and the end result speaks for itself.


Jane said...

Before I started reading your blog and Bonnie's blog, among others, I had no idea that that kind of activity even existed in such a form. I did fantasize about it, but in an indistinct fuzzy sort of way. I had to read about it to even put into words what I was then able to ask my boyfriend for.

Still occasionally have a twinge of envy for you folks in more "established" relationships, but do appreciate that you sometimes write about not immediately getting what you want -- the birthday spanking wish comes to mind (even though that did eventually work out!)

Anonymous said...

Yours is a fun and enlightening blog, Harmonica, and I'll always come back. And as Poppy says, KBO.

Okay, she doesn't always say that and it stands for something she isn't allowed to say in full at all, even though she is quoting Winnie, but you get the drift.

Never mind the blatherskites and keep at it, young lady, with our support.

-Dev and Poppy

ronnie said...

Jealousy is only natural and we have all been guilty of having that green eyes feeling.

It's such a shame that she decided to stop reading, her loss not yours. Why not just fade into the night instead of emaling to tell you?


Hermione said...

Jane - I try to be honest at all times, even when things don't go according to plan, and you've proven to me that it's a good practice.

Dev and Poppy - And I will "Keep Blogging On". I know Poppy wouldn't use the other word, although did you know you can buy t-shirts with that slogan?

Thank you both for your generous support. I am not in the least deterred.

Ronnie - That's exactly what I wondered. Many people would have silently gone elsewhere. Luckily I don't play the guilt game.


Lil Sam said...

Hi Hermione,
I to have been been taken over by the green eyed monster from time to time. and when it came to spanking, the Green eyed monster use to show up more than I really care to admit, But mainly because not only did I want to be spanked, I desperately needed someone who understood my needs, took me for me and would take me in hand (forcefully if need be)and paddle my butt until I get the message that my behaviour is not acceptable and needs to be corrected.
As for your dreams of certain spankings happening, My dear friend, Please do not give up on them, Dreams can come true, I know, cause I am living mine.
I, like you will probably not recieve the spankings I would like to recieve,as sailor is not really into spankings, However I do know what will happen when I push the limit. I a push it as often as possible.
As for judging, a dear friend taught me years ago that if I could still judge someone after walking a mile in someone else's shoes, then I have not walked far enough.
As for coming back, I will always come back to my favourite bloggers, perhaps not as often as I would like , but I will always be around.
for all of you are responsible in part for my groth this past year, for which I will be forever grateful
Hugs to all
Lil Sam
PS sorry for long post, I do sometimes tend to carry on so.

Hermione said...

Lil Sam - I'm so glad you came back to comment on this post. And you are right about walking that mile!

I have turned my envy into something constructive. By aiming for some of the things I was envious of, I have actually achieved something close to them, more often than not.