Sunday, September 14, 2014

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #37

Is it the weekend already? This week just flew by! But here we are again for another lively discussion. Many of my readers practice Domestic Discipline, and punishment spankings play a part in that kind of relationship. That leads me to today's question.

Are punishment spankings effective? Do they change undesirable behaviour or break bad habits? Are they repeatedly administered, over time, for the same offence?

Let me know what you think, even if you aren't in a DD relationship, and I will publish a summary of our discussion in an upcoming post.

From Hermione's Heart

19 comments:

an English Rose said...

Hi Hermione, well, I don't swear any more and I will never be impolite to him in front of company again so.... :)
love Jan,xx

sub hub in phx said...

Yes, they are definitely effective in changing undesirable behavior. I think a very important thing to consider is what the effective definition of a punishment spanking truly is. If the one receiving the spanking has effectively been able to manipulate the spanker into giving a spanking that amounts to nothing more than a fantasy act of kink, then there is a disconnect between the Dominant and the sub.

I don't want to get off on a rant here but ...... (channeling my inner Dennis Miller) Mistress K. and I recently had a similar discussion. One which I knew that I would regret having once I was punished again, but I felt an obligation to be truthful and tell her that the punishments that I was getting were nothing more than a minor irritant at the moment I was receiving them. As such, the spankings I was getting were not an effective deterrent to undesirable behavior.

The punishment aspect of a D/s relationship (FLM in my case) needs to be an actual deterrent in my opinion. It has been said by many in the lifestyle that a true punishment spanking doesn't even begin until the one receiving the spanking genuinely wishes it was over. I have come to believe in this as well, as much as it will (and does now) hurt my ass. I believe bruises are not only inevitable but almost necessary. True pleading to stop is also necessary, even if it produces tears. It is something that I crave, right up to the point when I am actually receiving a true punishment spanking, then I don't want it at all. Now, when I am punished, it hurts and hurts bad. I can tell you that now, the prospect of receiving a true punishment spanking, deters me from undesirable behavior.

There are so many aspects of this lifestyle that touch on the concept of symbolism I believe to be necessary as part of an acknowledged, loving D/s relationship. Why are some sub men required to always consume their cum every time he ejaculates? Because it's a symbolic gesture that they have decided is necessary. My Mistress will have me wear panties, but why? Does she want to turn me into a sissy? No, she doesn't but she does love the symbolic nature of my willingness to do so. We all have standing rules and rituals. Some have ritual for punishments, for worship, for humiliation, for devotion. All symbolic gestures intended to demonstrate each parties position in their relationship.

At the end of the day, it's either a real punishment spanking or it is a play spanking disguised as a punishment spanking. If it's real, at least for this submissive, it is very effective.

Dan - A Disciplined Hubby said...

I am sorry to say that if you define "effective" in terms of long-term behavior modification, our DD relationship is effective only modestly. But, we've also never really achieved consistency. Also, over time I have come to believe that there are a least two measures of effectiveness. The first is modifying the recipients behavior. But, often overlooked is the benefit to the person administering the discipline. DD can give them a very concrete way of expressing their dissatisfaction with their spouse's behavior, and that outlet can be significantly freeing and empowering. In that second respect, I think our DD relationship really is effective.

Autumn said...

They work for us...I think! I definitely watch my words more closely now, rather than rattling off my displaced anger and emotions in disrespectful torrents. I still have my moments though, so have they completely eradicated all disrespect? No. Have they helped? Yes!

Pecan nutjob said...

I don't know if it is an effect of the spankings and scolding, but we both changed over time and largely dropped some bad habits. It may be also that with age and experience, we mellow.

dancingbarez said...

On our end it works for most behavior and Daddy definitely notices.a change.The bigger issues like snapping back when annoyed are more difficult. The episodes may be farther and fewer in between but it does still happen.

abby said...

They work for me....When Master punishes me, it is a whole different set of events. No bear hugs, quiet chat, no warm-up, no permissions....and a spanking that i do not ever want repeated.
He is super great at all the fun, good, happy stuff...but He makes a definite point with a punishment.
hugs abby

Anonymous said...

My husband is reasonably well-behaved (most of the time) but he still needs to be spanked at least once a week to keep him on the straight and narrow (and more often if he fails to perform the chores I have assigned, or if he doesn't perform them to my satisfaction)

River Wild said...

This may sound strange, but must of my punishment spankings are not s long as my regular spankings, nor do they tend to leave me sore for long. The reason for this is that when I have screwed up and deserve to be punished, I feel terrible and am usually crying at the lecture even before he begins paddling because I know I've disappointed him. The spanking is really more of a punctuation mark on the whole event. The real deterrent for me is my love for my husband, and not wanting to cause him to feel unhappy with me.

Anonymous said...

I'm a take control person and often times would loose my temper. That is the reason I get punishment spanking. Has it helped? Heck yes. It was two days after my first punishment spanking that I received the second. The third was a month after the second. Now I might get one once a year so in our case it did help. I also agree with some comments here punishment does not start until you wish it was over.
archedone

Dr. Ken said...

I believe they can be effective, yes, or at least have short term effectiveness. I don't give many of those, though, preferring to spank mostly for fun...

sixofthebest said...

Hermione, I have always believed in punishment spankings. They can be given as maintenance spankings once a week. The severity of these spankings of course depend on the serious of the offence committed by the wife. The hand, paddle, hairbrush given light spankings. The cane or birch rod if the offence is serious. ALL SPANKINGS should be given on the BARE BOTTOM.

Anonymous said...

When I present my bottom to D, I get thrilling pleasure from the long hard spanking he will give it.
As a punishment it would in no way make me mend my ways, but probably make me re-offend to get another helping. S.

Ni Na said...

Hi Hermione, I think that punishment spankings do work well. I have lost bad habits and the moments of back talking ‘just because’, have also become far less. The number of punishments has become less over the years, too, as I simply do less of the unwanted behavior.

hugs

Nina

Pearl Necklace said...

We don't really do punishment spankings, although, I have felt they would be helpful. It took me a long time to build up the courage to ask and to suggest that this might be a direction that would help us. My Man does not fully agree as he knows I enjoy them in play and for "release" too much. I have not agree'd until recently. I was in a horrible mood and let it be known that I would NOT be doing my dishes that night. He looked at me with absolute disappointment. Now, in my head I was already thinking that I didn't care how bad the spanking would be if he finally decided to spank as punishment. He could beat my ass for an hour and I would rather that then the dishes. As he stares at me with disappointment, and this thought runs through my head it hits me. Damn it. My Man does know what I need. His clear disappointment in me changed my behavior. I did the dishes. I did, however, act like an asshole throughout the entire night so I do still think that capping off the evening with a strong spanking may have just adjusted my attitude as well =) How's that for an answer/non-answer! Great question as always Hermione!
XOXO Pearl

Mona Lisa said...

I do not believe in punishment spankings.
Firstly, there is plenty of research showing that there are other and better ways to change negative behavior.
This is actually in 2014.

I want to stop doing what is wrong for me, or my family because of the love of my family, not out of fear of punishment.
As an adult, one can rationalize the problem, find the solution, aplicera it and keep it .. it is called adult responsible thinking.
And spanking, we can Always have for fun..LOL..

Anonymous said...

In my home, my submissive husband understands completely that a punishment spanking is not intended to be fun for anyone involved. If one is to be administered it means bad behavior has occurred on his part. We have our ritual for this and it is not pleasant. At the very beginning he is required to masturbate to orgasm so that his punishment will be received in that lovely post orgasm lull that men have. Then he eats the cum he just produced. He is secured (usually standing) and his bare bottom is wetted. He is then spanked to literal tears that include bruising and even sometimes welt that produce a tiny bit of blood.

When he asked me to be his dominant wife, it was on one condition ... that being that his punishments would be severe enough for him to truly regret his behavior.

So, yes, yes indeed. Punishment spankings are effective.

ricky said...

It depends on what stage you're
referring to.

None of us, I'm sure, are into
severe abuse, and I know that's
not what you're suggesting.

But to playfully tease, and be
teased back, is a wonderful thing,
especially when it involves a consensual, intimate, relationship.

ronnie said...

Can punishment spankings be effective - yes though I still have my moments so maybe they work only in the short term for me:)

Love,
Ronnie
xx