For us, sex and spanking go together like a horse and carriage. (For younger readers, that's a reference to an old song. You may remember it as the theme song for the TV show Married, with Children.) But what happens when one of those elements is missing?
If I'm stressed or have gone too long without some attention to my posterior, I want and need a good spanking to help me get my emotions back on track. Ron, on the other hand, feels that spanking is foreplay, not a standalone activity, and if I want to be paddled, I'll just have to wait for him to feel inclined to enjoy both activities. We have discussed this several times, and I think I have convinced him that, as nice as lovemaking is, if he isn't in the mood for it, I will be perfectly happy if he just spanks me and forgets about the rest. A good spanking invariably arouses me, but there are steps I can take alone later, if you know what I mean.
So we did have an understanding, but had never put it to the test. Until last weekend, that is. We were busy with chores around the house, and I noticed that Ron wasn't his usual cheerful self; in fact, he seemed a bit grumpy. He finally told me that he was postponing our spanking date for later that afternoon because he was feeling tired and out of sorts.
It was my turn to be grumpy, but before I could work up a good head of steam, Ron surprised me by saying, "We can do the spanking part. I just don't feel like doing anything else."
That stopped me in my tracks. I had been looking forward to a bottom-reddening. Would it be selfish of me to take him up on his offer? He wasn't well. Still, he had offered, and I had previously made it clear that sometimes a spanking was all that I needed or expected. This would be "all about me" and I was sure to get plenty of attention. But maybe I should be more considerate of him and wait until his energy level was higher.
What do you think I should have done?
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15 comments:
H, I think you probably worry too much :). Just say "thank you" or "ouch" whatever seems appropriate.
Hm.
In this case, take the spanking. As sweet as it was to consider him, you told him clearly what you wanted and needed. If you then don't follow through on that you may find him confused and frustrated. No, it may not have been the best timing but if he was going out of his way to do this for you the proper thing to do is accept graciously. If you refuse the first time he offers you what you've said you want he may not offer again.
If you want to make it up to him somehow, pamper and spoil him a bit after.
And who knows, that spanking just might fix his own moodiness.
Ms. Betty
I agree... I would take the spanking and say ty. If you ask for something and he offers to give it to you and you don't take it... he will be confused as to what you really want or need. As women we can sort this out better than most men. So keep it simple with him... he'll thank you later...lol...
His Kitten
You two have such a great routine. I'm worried that something is wrong. The only ever upset I can remember was the meat pies and I felt so bad for you both. Now on the other hand you did mention choices that leads me to belive this could be an erotic challenge,lol. There to fore I would thrash you soundly and demand to witness the steps you would take in total disregard of my level of fulfilment This resultant approach came about due to a low level membership in Adult Friendfinder and the corresponding backache that goes with waiting forever for Ms Pretty to do something hot. I know, I know, it serves me right.
Hugs, Fab
Not selfish at all, Hermione. Ron listened to you and is giving you what you need while also doing what is best for him. In this case delaying lovemaking until he feels more up for it - no pun intended. Marriage is a partnership and while this time it would be "all about me" on another occasion make it all about him. Believe me, he will understand and love you all the more for it, if that is even possible.
I enjoy any type of Spanking no matter if there is sex after or before or whatever.
Ron obviously cares and listened to what you wanted and needed so I think you took the spanking he offered and I am sure you have thanked him :)
Love.
Ronnie
xx
You can't be that desperate for a spanking, if you even considered turning Ron down :)
Take the spanking and then do something nice for Ron, a good neck rub for example, always nice to get if you are feeling out of sorts.
Prefectdt
It's unanimous -- take the spanking and enjoy it to the fullest! You can reciprocate another time.
Sometimes, it SHOULD be all about you. Well, that's my story anyway. :-D -- Erica
This sort of circularly frustrated, twisted reasoning is exactly why I don't get to decide if I need a spanking anymore! If I'm judged to need a spanking, I get a spanking. If I ask for a spanking, I almost always get one.
Say yes and thank you, please.
And, as Ms. Betty said, there are other ways to thank him or pamper him after, besides just sex. Food, his favorite movie, a sweet note in his lunch the next day, taking the car off to get washed without being asked... whatever it is. Not to mention sex when he wants!
s
First off when I was reading your post I nearly jumped up and shouted for joy! Someone else understood. I too love the combination of spanking and sex. I can't think of anything that goes together better. But I often need the connection, the closeness and of course the stress relief that comes from a spanking alone.
While the spanking itself is arousing its okay for that not to be fulfilled at that moment. Sometimes the longing for sex can be a wonderful feeling in itself. It’s fun to have it in the forefront of my mind. The anticipation of a later rendezvous, even if it’s a day or two later, keeps me happy. I have tried to explain to Nick the each spanking he gives is like money in the bank for a man wanting a wife ready for any kinky play he might want to try!!
To answer your questions, I would have said “You don’t have to push yourself if you really don’t feel good, but if you mean it I’d LOVE IT!!!”
Hugs,
PK
I agree with everybody here take the spanking and negotiate something special for Ron later. :)
When are you going to tell us what you did? Like all the other bloggers, I hope you told him you wanted the spanking, thanked him afterwards and then did something nice for him that didn't involve sex.
I do have a feeling you did take the spanking but I think we're all curious to hear how it went.
FD
Everybody - I really enjoyed your comments. This must be a first - you were unanimous in your advice.
I realized that perhaps I had painted the situation as too black and white. It was that for me, at the time, in a convoluted sort of way. It's easy to get emotional and overreact at times like that. But there were extenuating circumstances, which I have told you about in my next post.
I'm so glad that many of you understand where I was coming from.
Hugs,
Hermione
I agree with Miss Betty!
R
Mars and Venus....it will always be that way... I have chosen to write before reading your post that explained more. I agree with the others who state accept and enjoy the spanking, You may be progressing in wonderful ways you are yet to fully understand. Spanking is enjoyable, without immediate sexual satisfaction The wait is sometimes even better.
Go for it.
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