You Completed the Caption

Beautiful blossoms and bottoms received a fine tribute today. Here's what you said:


Archedone: It's spring time and I can show my bottom without freezing it. Yes I know honey you will spank me for showing it in public.

Anon: What better way than to cool off a spanked bottom and yet still be naughty.

Ronnie: I think I'm going to regret taking Jane's bet to moon the next person who walks past.

Bonnie: "Bloomers? Why, just take a look. They're all around us!"

Sunnygirl: Cooling off her buns after a hot spanking.

Abby Williams: Sailor Moon? Heavens no! It's a Pink Moon or no moon at all. May her bottom be as pink as the cherry blossoms about to bloom. Happy Spring!

Kaelah: As she quickly raised the back of her skirt for her boyfriend to secretly shoot a naughty picture in the park, she smiled at the thought that the colour of her bottom almost matched the colour of the beautiful pink cherry blossoms. What made her smile even more, though, was the knowledge that the colour of her bottom would soon be as red as a cherry, long before the blossoms would have turned into the sweet fruits they both liked so much.

Vfrat25000:
Grandfather: Young relative let me give you some advice from your elders. NEVER bare you bottom next to a flowering tree
21 Year Old Granddaughter: Oh Gramps….You are SO old fashioned…It’s a new world now; it’s called Freedom of Expression…..OWWWWW! Something BIT ME!

Squirrel 1: Holy Moley Frank…Look at the size of those pears
Squirrel 2: Those aren’t pears Frank, you goof…Those are Florida Grapefruit...They are very rare. Take a bite…They taste wonderful!

Come on Herman look at these cherry trees. Aren’t they beautiful?
Yeah…Yeah…Very pretty…Wait…Wait you are so right! They are nearly perfect, soft, rounded, supple globes …so spankable!
What did you say?
Uhhh...Yeah nice tree!

Somebody go get Officer Jane. I think this vice assignment in the park is starting to corrupt her.
Why do you say that? Ohhh, I see your point. Mary…Drop the skirt and get in the car.
Why…I think I almost have that jogger interested. He has circled this tree five times.

Kingspan: Father, I cannot tell a lie. 'Twas I who mooned the cherry tree.

Six of the best:  "Spring, Spring, is it really you, that wishes to birch my bare bottom true?"

1manview: Wait till we get home, I'm going to give her a brand new meaning to spank that azz!!

OK, who'd goong to be the first to play hide the weenie with me?

GaryNTboy: For borrowing his jacket without permission the naval officer's girlfriend would very likely be getting as many stripes on her bottom as are on the sleeves.

TL Bucko: You stand right there and think about what you've done while I cut a switch from this cherry tree.

Mitch Philbin: Oh, look, Sadie, the dogwoods are in bloom.

Sir Wendel Jones: Does this cherry blossom/dogwood tree make my tushie look fat?

Dr. Ken: "Wow. June really IS busting out all over...."

Elisa Will: "I keep forgetting about those dang camera phones." ;)

Prefectdt: The tree thinks "I prefer the stripy butt that the last girl had. it looked more like a bee.".

MyMask: See that branch on that tree, soon that will be tanning your backside.

Happy Easter, everyone!

Complete the Caption

Spring is here! The trees and shrubs are in blossom, and it's the perfect time for a romp in the park. But it's possible to be a little too exuberant, and there may be consequences!

Complete the caption by leaving a comment and I will publish your springtime thoughts in the next post. 

Friday FAIL

Labels, signs and captions that somehow don't seem quite right.

 It's what happens when you fill out the birth certificate while still under anaesthetic.

 I want some of that with barbecue sauce.

 A likely story

 Your dad had kinky dreams.

 So did the whole family.

Ride that ski lift for a real thrill.

What's Wrong with my Blog?

Blogging is a lot of fun, and can be a very rewarding pastime. One of the easiest blogging platforms to use is Blogger, once an independent product but now owned by that giant, Google. You don't need any special knowledge or experience to get started. That's where this blog lives, and it's what I know best. (Sorry WordPress, Tumblr and other bloggers, this post won't be of interest to you. Talk amongst yourselves.)

Blogger is easy and straightforward, but when things start to go wrong you can feel frustrated and discouraged. Have you ever had any of these problems?

• Your post has text is an assortment of different sizes and font styles

•  Someone has "censored" parts of your blog so you can't read the whole post

•  Some text has disappeared like this or doesn't show up

•  Your sidebar of gadgets is now at the bottom of your blog

•  Your latest post isn't showing up in other bloggers' reading lists or in their blog list gadget

Believe it or not, there is a single reason for all these problems. It's one little word.

Word

Microsoft Word, that is. If you compose your blog posts in Word then copy and paste them into your Blogger post editor, you can expect things to go very wrong. Word uses a lot of embedded codes to format documents, and that code just doesn't get along with Blogger's own way of formatting. When the two collide, your blog suffers.

Maybe you didn't copy from Word, but you did copy something - a meme, perhaps - from another blog, and that blogger used Word to compose the post. The result is the same: chaos! Or maybe you have always used Word and never had a problem before. There's always a first time. Blogger code changes constantly as Google engineers add fixes, enhancements and new features. Something that you could get away with yesterday may not be doable today.

A very simple rule to follow that will ensure you don't have any of the problems mentioned above is this: Don't compose your posts in Word.

If it isn't convenient for you to compose posts directly in the Blogger Post Editor, then use Notepad (for PCs) or Textedit (for Mac). Neither of these has formatting that will conflict with Blogger. Copy and paste into Blogger and your work is done.


Okay, if you must use Word, There are a couple of workarounds.

1. Copy the text from Word into Notepad or Textedit to strip off all the formatting. Then copy from Notepad or Textedit and paste into Blogger, OR
2. Copy from Word and paste into the HTML tab of the Post Editor. Then switch to the Compose tab to finish your post.

What if you have a post that exhibits one of the symptoms mentioned above? That's easy to remedy.

• Edit the post
• Select all [Ctrl A]
• Click on the Remove Formatting icon on the Post Editor toolbar (it looks like Tx)
• Preview your post. It should look a lot better now.

 If that doesn't fix the problem completely, you may want to try this:

• Edit the post
• Select all [Ctrl A]
• Cut (not Copy, because you want to remove everything from the post)
• Paste into Notepad or Textedit. That will automatically strip off all formatting.
• Copy and paste back into the Post Editor.

I hope this hasn't been too confusing. If it is, feel free to spank me. (There! This post was about spanking after all:) Questions, anybody?

A big thank you to Ronnie for the image at the top of this post.

Wednesday WIN

Kinky cake toppers are all the rage these days.

She knows what she likes

Now we know what's under a kilt

The cake topper was created from an actual photo of the engaged couple who obviously enjoy TTWD.

More Answers

I received some more questions last week from a few inquiring minds, so here goes:



Q: I think a lot of us see you as an icon, a celebrity in our spanking world. Do you see yourself that way?
A: Goodness gracious no! I see myself as a very small fishie in an ocean of excellent bloggers, many with far more experience and talent than I have. I just do my best to swim along with the current.


Q: Do you identify as more a spanko and not a submissive?
A: Actually, I am very much a submissive. My husband and I have a D/s relationship, and it has been that way from the start. He is in control of how we proceed through life, and I follow his lead. The fact that I love to be spanked is very fortunate for me, as it is a perfect way for me to submit to Ron.


Q: Part 1. I assume when you're spanked you experience the endorphin rush that is often identified as part of subspace. What do you call it?
A: I experience an endorphin rush every time I receive a spanking. I don't have any particular name for it, other than a feeling that adrenalin is flowing. It makes me welcome the pain and crave more. Subspace, on the other hand, feels like an out of body experience to me, although everyone perceives it in a slightly different way. I am aware of what's happening, but sort of floating above it. It doesn't happen all that often, but when it does I quite enjoy the feeling.

Q: Part 2. Does it always, typically, occasionally, or rarely translate into foreplay and then sex?
A: That's up to Ron. Usually the spanking itself is not associated with sex at that moment, although sometimes it happens then or later.


Q: What's your favorite spanking position and has it changed over time?
A: My dream position is being bent over the soft, rounded, overstuffed arm of an upholstered chair or sofa, with my ankles secured to the legs of the furniture.


Q: Is there a position that stings more than the others?
A: If I am lying flat, any implement seems to sting more.


There are still a few days left in Q&A month, so if there's anything you want to ask me, now's your chance!

From the Top Shelf - The Spendthrift Wife

Last week's story featuring a tawse was enthusiastically enjoyed by my readers, so I have found you another. This one is from Lucy Golden's enchanting storybook Tales Between their Legs. It's called "Jane's First Tale" and is the story of a very proper middle class lady who has run up a huge debt at a fashionable boutique. Neither she nor her husband - who cannot control her spending - is in a position to repay the debt, so the shop sends a debt collector with an unorthodox method of obtaining payment.

Jane's husband, Danny, returns from work just as the debt collector is announcing his terms of repayment to pyjama-clad Jane. As neither of them can pay the bill, Danny watches his wife's embarrassing yet titillating means of restitution.

Right then, Mrs Rhodes! Please continue. Let's have your top off, shall we?"

I don't know why but I'd expected something more subtle than that, that he would not have been so direct, but he simply waited. I looked over desperately for some support, guidance or even instruction from Danny, but he was no more help to me than I had been to him. He didn't even look at me.

"Now?" I asked, but the man didn't even bother to answer so I lifted my top up a little way, pulled my arms down inside the sleeves, then took a deep breath and pulled the whole thing over my head, tossing it down onto the chair. My breasts quivered.

"Not bad,' said the man. "Not bad at all. Quite a big girl, aren't you! Come closer where I can check you over."

He was being deliberately insulting, because they aren't 'not bad', they are very good! I have received loads of complements about them, not just from men but from women at work. I took a single step forward but he pointed down to a piece of carpet almost between his feet until I was standing only a foot in front of him. My breasts were now level with his eyes and, as he scrutinised me, as close as any man would want to be, I felt - saw - my nipples hardening and knew he could see it too. And, he knew why!

After an age, his hand reached out to touch me, quite slowly, and I heard a gasp from Danny as he guessed what was coming next. Then the hand touched: long fingers wrapping round my ribs and running up to my breast...then his fingertip traced down my stomach, tickled into my tummy button for a second and hooked into the waistband of the pyjama trousers then stopped.

"Now these!"

I glanced over at Danny. "Please...?"

"And if you have anything on underneath them," he continued, ignoring me completely, "we'll have them off as well."

I didn't move. I couldn't.

"Do you have anything on underneath?"

"No."

"Really? Nothing at all?" There was an accusation there that wasn't justified, but he pulled the waistband out a little way, out and down, just enough so he could peep in. Then he pulled a little further and glanced down. "No you don't, do you! My, you're a nice wooly little thing, aren't you! I like that."

Over to the side, Danny's head shot up. For a moment he stared, was about to speak, sat with his mouth working silently and then it was all too much. He scrambled out of his seat and strode out of the room.

"Right," said the man "now that we are alone, I think we should have these off, shouldn't we!" and plucked at the elastic again.

"Look," I started "I'm not sure about this. My husband is upset."

A frown flashed across the man's face and as quickly cleared.

"Well, yes, I imagine he is. I mean he has just found that you are a thousand pounds in debt. Most men would be very upset in that situation. But surely that's something you should have considered earlier, don't you think?" He plucked the elastic again.

In the silence while I searched for a defence he plucked at my pyjamas again. "Come along now. Let's have these off."

He could have pulled them off himself, of course, but he seemed to like watching me do it, humiliating me more in the process.

"Look," I was clinging to the waistband now, my fists clenched tight and clutching the flimsy security. 'Look, please...'

"Don't play games, Mrs Rhodes. I am going to have the rest of your clothes off and it is not going to get any better for you if you waste time." He sat back again for a second, quietly considering me. Then simply "Off!"

So I obeyed him, afraid of what would happen if I didn't, kicking off my slippers, pushing the pyjamas down and off, then dropping them on the chair with my top.

"Come closer and don't keep scurrying away!"

I stepped back to the appointed place and stood with my hands clasped modestly in front of me, the very smallest protection, but it annoyed him.

He slapped my wrists, pushing my hands out of the way.

"Don't be silly, Mrs Rhodes. Before we are through, there won't be an inch of you that I won't know intimately, so there is absolutely no point in this pathetic attempt at modesty."

So I let him have his way, and waited while he ran his hands up my sides, over my breasts again, lifting them, cradling them and weighing them. Yes, I am a 'big girl' and he was clearly someone who appreciated that in a woman. But now all of me was on display...

He made me turn round and his hands roamed across my bottom, up and down... Satisfied at last, he had me stand with my hands on my head and my feet apart, just like a naughty schoolgirl. I couldn't hear him moving, or even breathing for some seconds but when he spoke again he was perfectly calm and steady, then a light pressure from his fingertip started to wander slowly across my bottom.

"Have you been beaten, Mrs Rhodes?"

"Beaten?"

"Whipped? Caned?" The finger was tickling the crease at the top of my thigh.

"NO!"

"I rather thought not. It does seem to me that it takes discipline to teach you young people how to handle money these days." The finger stopped and pressed harder before being lifted away. "Well, it's time you were. I'll beat you now I think."

The fingertip was now tracing sweeping paths across both cheeks of my bottom.

"Would your husband like to witness this, do you think?"

"I don't know"

"Then you had better ask him!"

Danny was sitting at the kitchen counter, his hands clasped tightly in front of him, but he turned when I walked in, flinching when he saw I was now completely naked.

"He's..he's..." I couldn't look at him "he's going to beat me and wants to know if you want to watch."

"Christ!" He stared up at me, his eyes running all over my nakedness but flickering as if he was fighting tears, then he buried his face in his hands and turned his head back to the floor. "Christ!" he muttered again.

We both waited in silence for a few minutes then Danny said, "I suppose I do."

I led the way back to where the man was sitting and he smiled to see Danny trailing behind, glancing meekly round then taking his place at the end of the sofa.

Then the man produced the weapon. I'd never seen a tawse before, not a real one, and although it looked quite harmless, the need to enclose it, hide and encage it, showed it was not as innocent as it seemed.

It was longer than I'd thought, almost two feet long: thick leather in a serious deep tan and split into two long tongues. He curled back the tips, pointed and pierced, like nothing I had ever seen. He saw my eyes studying it.

"It's called a 'Devil's Tail' for obvious reasons," he said and released the tips so they sprang back up and quivered in the air like the forked tongue of a huge snake.

"Now," and he slapped the end against his open palm. It was only a light slap but the noise was horrible. "Six is the traditional number for one offence!" He swept it back and forth a couple more times. "There are four months unpaid so that makes twenty-four strokes!"

Slowly he got to his feet and glanced round. "I think over the sofa. That would be best for this. Bending over to start with, I think. Place your palms flat on the seat please, arms and back nice and straight, hands and feet well apart!"

I followed the instructions and Danny shuffled up a little further to give me room. As I bent over and spread my fingers out on the settee I was almost touching his leg but I dared not meet his eye.

"Excellent!" The man's easy cheerfulness made things no easier at all, but I don't suppose he wanted it to. He came over and rested his hand on my back. "Excellent. This way, you see, the subject is nice and steady. We can gain access to everywhere we need... plus, of course, a clear shot at the target" and with that he brought his hand down really hard on my bottom. I leapt up in shock, or tried to, but he was expecting it for I was immediately pushed back again.

"Right. Twenty-four!" Tap, tap, tap then the first stroke of the tawse landed. It was bearable. I didn't scream. I didn't even cry out. All my worries swept away and I almost smiled. But then came the second stroke, and the third and that was when I realised the effect of repetition. After six strokes he paused.

"That's the first month taken care of!"

"Please! Please can I go..." but he had already started again and I gave in and cried.

Danny reached over and covered my hand with his as seven, eight and nine came whipping down. I couldn't concentrate, could only feel the increased throbbing building in my bottom, one great band of agony across both cheeks. The tears were rolling down my face and dripping off my nose. I could feel my whole body shaking with every stroke but trembling between them. I realised he had stopped.

"That's twelve. Do you want a short break?" His hand was running over me still, underneath to scoop up my breasts, deliberately squeezing hard enough to hurt and flicking the nipples with his fingernails.

"Why are these so hard?"

I was still sobbing and couldn't answer. "Hmmmmm?" he said and flicked my nipples again.

"It's the pain" I muttered, pulling away.

"Oh yes? A likely story!" but at least he released me...

Jane takes the next twelve in diaper position then her husband, much excited by then, has his way with her upon instruction from the debt collector. Great fun is had by all!

You Completed the Caption

This picture really got your creative juices flowing. Here's what you said:


Archedone: If this is the position you want, I'm ready for my spanking.

GaryNTboy: Sylvia had been told that smoking was bad for her health by the doctor. So when hubby caught her again with a cigarette he had her in the most embarrassing position while he fetched the cane.

Sir Wendel Jones: 1950’s Shades of Grey

Ronnie: I mean, I like him, but just wish he'd haul me over his lap and spank me...maybe if he catches me like this.

Minelle: Maybe this position will get me that sexy spanking....oops-- I better get this cig out of my mouth first!

Michael: Lady Daphne defied the smoking ban of her father, Lord Faversham - the Sixth Earl of Switchex, right up until she was put in the diaper position awaiting her Pa-Pa's return with the switch.

Sunnygirl: Ready and waiting for you dear.

Country Spanker: Glad you're comfy now because you won't be laid on your back when I have finished with you

Bonnie: "Mother always said I should cross my ankles because it's more ladylike."

Six of the best: "Hi, I'm waiting for my lover boy, 'Six of the Best', to come over tonight and treat me to a dozen good spanks with his fabulous cane, across my naked rear end," she said with a wicked wink.

Daisychain: Someone balance the scales on my feet, and I will PROVE I do not need to lose any more weight!!!

Roz: Go ahead, make my day. Spank me if you dare.

Ricky: Relaxing after the spanking.

Karl Friedrich Gauss: Claudia's master indulged her whim by fashioning a thermometer that resembled a cigarette in a holder. So she could look all the more insolent while being found out for skipping school while not actually being sick.

Young Lady: Gracie figured that she might as well be comfortable while she assumed the "diaper position.

Lea: "Some guys can't take a hint about when a girl wants a spanking. Maybe this'll do it!"

Vfrat25000: Surprise, Mom...Dad….. I am home one day early and I brought my friend Sean to meet you guys………………MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jim…I think the rumor about Betty in Human Resources winning the lottery last night may be true!
What are you talking about Ms. Brooks?
Just open the door to her office and look inside. You will understand

DAD......Mom has got into the Vanilla Extract again!

Penelope from Public Relations really knows how to dress for Casual Friday!

Hey Chuck I think we may have found the perfect actress for the Miss Hannegin part in Annie

Miss Francis the timid quiet Smithville Librarian found an an old book titled “Live Life Like No One’s Watching” and has never been the same since.

Lady Koregan: Alright, you won the bet and I'm being a good sport. But heaven help you if I find these pictures on the internet anywhere!

Hermione: Lucky for me I'm wearing my Playprotex Living Girdle with the guaranteed paddle-proof lining.


Thanks for joining in the fun. See you next Saturday for something completely different.

Complete the Caption

This is an interesting example of an old black and white photograph that as tinted by hand, in the days before colour film (or Photoshop). A time to relax, or a girl in position, waiting...

It's up to you. Complete the caption by leaving a comment and I will publish your speculations in the next post.

It's not too late to include a question or two that you'd like me to answer. The next Q&A post will appear on Tuesday.

Friday FAIL

A little something in honour of International Women's Day

Oh, if I could but live another century to see the fruition of all the work for women!" - Susan B. Anthony

50 Shades of Fun?

Ron and I were shopping in a large bookstore last week, and I was amused to see a big display of the 50 Shades trilogy just inside the entrance. When would they give those books a rest?

We headed to the children's section to choose a soft, cuddly Easter bunny for our grandson. Ron picked it out, then gave it to me to carry. He was too embarrassed to hold it, but I didn't mind testing its snuggle-ability as I walked. We browsed awhile, and as I walked around the end of a row of shelves, I saw another 50 Shades display. Not again, I though to myself, and turned away..

Ron went closer to take a look. "It's a party game!" he remarked.

"A party game? Really?" Would it come complete with cuffs, rope and ball gag? "I can't imagine anything in that game that we haven't tried," and Ron agreed, laughing.

But I was curious, so the next day I looked it up online. It seems the game isn't particularly naughty; in fact, it's quite tame. Here's how you play it. You invite seven girlfriends over (it's a girly game, not meant for couples as I had first thought) then as each question (vanilla questions, by the way) is read out, each person guesses which other person in the room is the best match for the answer. Examples are:

Who is most likely to have a hidden tattoo?
Who would never make out at the movies?
Who would insist on splitting the bill at a restaurant?

Kinky stuff - NOT!  The women at Huffington Post created a video of playing the game. Their evaluation of it, in the article that accompanies the video, is pretty amusing.

It seems there is an add-on to the game, consisting of 200 "extra spicy" cards to boost the fun potential. Rope not included.

Update: For more 50 Shades of Grey fun, head on over to Lea's Corner. She has pictures and  a video I'd never seen before. You'll love them!

Wednesday WIN

Some kinky signs from around the world.

 The price one pays for skiing at an upscale resort

 The happiest place in town

No wait, this is the happiest place in town

 Tote that barge, lift that bale!

 Stop on red for a spanking

 I've posted this picture before, but it's worth a second look

No comment

You asked...

...and I answered. It's Question and Answer month, and here are my answers to the questions you asked me.

Q: How do you keep up with interesting topic ideas to blog about when you post every day?
A: I stay on the lookout for likely subjects for blog posts wherever I go. Some of my material is inspired by television, newspapers, and overheard conversations. It helps to have regular features on several days, so I don't have to think of completely new topics each day.


Q: How much time do you spend looking for the great things you are always posting on our blog?
A: Most of my material comes from email subscriptions to various humorous sites as well as accidental finds on other websites. I'd say I spend about an hour a day just sifting through my emails in search of useable pictures.


Q: What is your favorite flower?
A: I love pansies and violas, with their sweet little faces smiling at me in the spring. For indoor houseplants I like cyclamen and gloxinias best.

Q: What is your favourite game?
A: I would love to try playing a home version of Chopped. It's a cooking show where chefs must create a series of dishes using mystery ingredients. Four contestants begin, but they are "chopped"  one by one after each round, and the last contestant wins the grand prize. I think it would be fun to play at home.


Q: Do you ever get annoyed that spell check doesn't like keeping "u" in words like favourite?
A: Yes. Sometimes there isn't an option to choose the British dictionary. But then, Canadian spelling is a hybrid of both British and American. We add the "u" to words in the British style, but we use the American form of spelling words like "analyze", not  the British "analyse". They haven't come up with a Canadian spellchecker. as far as I know.


Q: Were you spanked at school and do you play on occasions that scenario with Ron?
A: No, girls were never physically punished when I was at school. That was a privelege reserved for naughty boys. Ron and I don't engage in role-play, so that scenario never happens.


Q: What first led you to reading and writing blogs?
A: First I discovered the wonderful world of online spanking sites with Ron's help. Then I accidentally stumbled on one blog, then another, and once I had figured out what blogs were,  I was hooked. It was several months before I left my first comment, but soon I was one of Bonnie's regular visitors. I was thrilled when she asked me to write a guest post and even more thrilled to actually see it in print. I knew then that I wanted to be a blogger too. A few months later, Hermione's Heart was born.


Q: Have and Ron always had a spanking relationship or did one of you initiate it at some point?
A: I told that story on my blog here.


Q: Who would you cast to play you in a movie about your life?
A: Minnie Driver. I loved her in Circle of Friends.

Q: Do you play any type of musical instruments or did you in school?
A: As a child I had a toy glockenspiel that I loved. When i was in high school, folk music had just become popular; I had an acoustic guitar and played songs by Joan Baez and Ian and Sylvia. In university I played alto recorder in an early music ensemble that played Medieval and Renaissance music. Then many years later I started studying piano, and after much hard work, weekly lessons and diligent practice I passed the Grade 8 exam.


Q: If money was no object and you could live anywhere in the world, where would you want to be?
A: Scotland. My grandfather was from Aberdeen, and my heart's in the highlands.


Q: Do you participate in any kind of kink/spanking community IRL?
A: No, that's not our thing. We prefer to keep our spanking within the confines of our home. We aren't social people and would find it difficult participate in an organized group.


Q: Do others in your real life world know about your lifestyle?
A: Nobody knows, as far as I am aware.


Q: Do you switch? If so, Ron is a lucky guy. Not to say that he is not now.
A: I once asked Ron if he wanted me to spank him. His answer was an emphatic "No! I'm the spanker; you're the spankee." We're happy in those roles.


Q: Why don't you post more about your own spankings.
A: I try to do that as often as I can. I think it's important to have something interesting to say,  whether it's about a specific implement, something funny Ron said, or an unusual event. Otherwise it would sound rather repetitious. One spanking is pretty much the same as the next, so I don't want to bore my readers with something that sounds much like what they read the week before. Maybe I need to try to spice things up a bit so I can tell you all about it afterward.


Q: If you could do one thing about your relationship with your husband over again what would it be and why?
A: That's a tough question. Everyone makes mistakes and says or does things they later wish they could take back. But on the whole, I can't look back and see that I took a major wrong turn somewhere.


Q: What do Canadian women call their 'underpants' (knickers, panties, or bloomers)?
A: In advertising fliers and catalogures they are called panties or briefs, but I usually refer to them as underwear.

Q: When did you know Ron was the one for you?
A: It was on the first day of my new job. When we were introduced I remember thinking that I needed to be careful or I would fall for him in a big way. He was exactly my type. It took a while for anything to develop between us, but when it did it was worth waiting for.


Q: Did you have a childhood ambition and did you achieve it?
A: My first ambition was to be a cowboy, but no, I never rode the range. Later I wanted to be a meteorologist because I liked looking at clouds, but that didn't last. I was good at many subjects in school so at university I took a wide range of very different courses. I've always enjoyed writing, so I gues you could say I have achieved my ambition.


Q: Do you find certain foods that you eat, sexually erotic?
A: No, I can't say that I do. I will say that if I'm hungry, sex can wait. Feed me first!


Q: What's the most unusual food you've ever eaten?
A: I suppose what would be considered unusual depends on your point of view. Snails (ho hum), haggis (yummy), tripe (yuck), chia (crunchy).


Q: Do you find Canadians to be more like the British and fond of the cane or more like Americans and fonder of the paddle? And are there a lot of schools (private or otherwise) where the cane was used?
A: Just as they do with grammar and spelling, Canadians tend to take a little from each of those two cultures in spanking. Before corporal punishment was banned, wooden rulers and leather straps were in frequent use both in classrooms and in the principal's office. In some boys' private schools, modeled on English public schools, the teachers used canes.

Q: What makes you happy about blogging and have you made sad experiences as a blogger as well?
A: There are many things about blogging that make me happy, but the one that comes to mind first is being Chrossed. I am also happy that I have made so many good friends in the blogosphere. 

It's very sad when one of our bloggers disappears, and as we all know that happens all too frequently. I was especially sad when Spanking Writers Abel and Haron split up and later divorced. They co-authored a blog for several years, taking turns writing posts. Now Abel carries on alone, and does an admirable job too.


Q: Do you have any kinky things that you would like to try besides spanking?
A: Not really. At one time I might have said yes, but the more online exposure I have to the many other kinks out there, the more I realize that they are not for me. I love spanking, but that's all.


Thank you for all the questions. I'll admit that there were some that surprised me. I'm still taking questions, so it's not too late to ask me anything you're curious about. Leave a comment or email me.

From the Top Shelf - School Discipline

Today's selection is from The Rule of the Strap by Mary McKenzie, published by Wildfire Books. It is the true account of a former mistress in a school for wayward girls in Scotland in the 1950s. For lovers of the tawse, that traditional Scottish implement of discipline, this story is just for you.

In this extract, Miss Mackenzie has started her first teaching job at a school just outside Glasgow, and has 'qualified', following supervised sessions, to take responsibility for corporal punishment on her own for the first time.

I had tried a cane, and from time to time used one, but apart from the pride afforded me by being able to say I had mastered its use, I seldom had reason not to favour the tawse. The range of tawses available to us allowed us to inflict the desired degree of punishment commensurate with the seriousness of the offence committed. I found a tawse just as punitive as a cane at the time the punishment was inflicted but it did not cause the same long lasting level of distress for a girl which the cane inevitably did. In my experience discomfort lasted hours with the tawse while often the effect of a caning lasted days.

My first turn on punishment duty came after I had completed my first month. Morag had informed Mrs McEwan that I now had enough experience to handle corporal punishment with adequate severity. I made my way to the punishment room carrying both my non-classroom tawses. I was very eager to try my heaviest tawse which I had not yet used. Like all new heavy tawses this strap was very stiff and stood out straight without the hint of a bend. I thought that, given its thickness, this tawse would never become supple.

That first evening three youngsters were on report. All waited in line outside the room and both trustees were also present. I marched into the room and laid both my tawses on the table. "Youngest first!" I ordered and Ann Orr brought in the young reprobate.

"You struck Mrs McGee during physical education this morning, Bridget. What have you to say about that?'

'Ah couldnae help it, Miss! She wouldnae leave me alone cos I could nae do her stupid exercise!" In later years I came to sympathise with young Bridget's views towards Mrs McGee for there were times I felt like hitting her myself. However I was required to take such violence seriously.

"Have you ever struck a teacher before?" I asked.

"No Miss," she muttered.

"I should hope not, and when I have finished with you I don't think you will ever want to again! Now drop your knickers and lie over the horse!"

The girl slid them down and stepped out of them. After she had lain across the horse, her arms were fastened to the straps on the far legs of the horse but, because she was short of stature, her short legs hung freely just off the ground. I lifted her gymslip finding her naked beneath, thus there was no impediment to the work of the strap. In deference to her age I selected my three tailed lighter tawse but felt I should give ten strokes. I thought this would satisfy the offended party and hoped that Mrs McGee would feel that justice had been done. Crack! Thwack! Squeal! From the second stroke on, her yells accompanied my efforts with the tawse. Long before the conclusion tears were visible and she sobbed her heart out when it was all over and she could replace her knickers.

"Don't let me see you in this room ever again!" was my final admonishment.

"Sheila McBride, get in here! Well, girl, what was the fight all about this morning?"

"Darlene McMaster stole my clean knickers from my locker, Miss, and wouldnae give them back!"

I half believed Sheila's story for I had found Darlene a handful in my class and I knew she was one to throw her weight around.

"Well right now girl you won't need ANY knickers! Take off the ones you are wearing and get across that horse!"

She did as I instructed and, Sheila being taller, I fastened her arms and legs to the horse. I took the reformatory grade tawse and gauged my distance. I swung it down and the resultant thwack! in that small room was awesome. The girl yelled and I confined myself to only three more strokes of the same magnitude. When she rose her eyes were damp and she withdrew from the room quietly, walking with some difficulty.

As Sheila left, I heard Darlene say to her, "What have you been saying about me in there? Just you wait!"

"Darlene McMaster, get in here at once!" I shouted "I know all about your behaviour, girl, and you had best decide to mend your ways." I really did not wish to hear any more about who the knickers belonged to and I told her so.

"Four strokes for fighting and four more for making threats!" I announced.

"Oh that's no fair Miss...oh please Miss" The pleading had started but I was in no mood for it.

"Get those knickers off and get across that horse at once, girl!" I ordered. She stepped out of them and did as she was bid, but before I commenced the punishment I looked at the name tag inside the pants, and clearly labeled was the name 'Sheila McBride'. Angered, I did not let up one iota and the eight strokes of the heavy tawse must have been extremely painful. She yelled from the very first, burst into floods of tears, and was a very different young madam by the time I had finished with her.

That ended my first stint on punishment parade, and while invariably the punishments given were harsh, I felt they were justified. I was most impressed by the performance of my 'stiff' reformatory grade implement. It was truly awesome and, over the years, very few girls avoided floods of tears when they received it. I gave between four and twelve strokes of the tawse to girls on report and laid them on very slowly but very hard. The results were dramatic.

Now that is most certainly an implement we need to add to our arsenal.

You Completed the Caption

We've been rockin' round the clock this weekend with your captions!


Bob: Okay this is how it's going to happen.... Any questions?

archedone: You have been very naughty and need a long hard spanking.

Country Spanker: Your backside is gonna be the colour of your jacket, lady.

Six of the best: "Tonight my dear. we are going to have a 'spanking good time'. While listening to the Beatles, with Ringo Starr's beat of his drums, I am going to be beating your voluptuous bare BUM most red indeed".

TL Bucko: Look you are my girl and you only go with me. I'm going to give you something to remember that.
Go ahead, I dare you.

Sunnygirl:
Him: Didn't I tell you what would happen if you didn't listen?
Her: Yes and what are you going to do about it?

Lilmisses: Rose bit at her inner cheek as Steve explained, ironically so, how if she played her cards right she could be otk tonight.

Bonnie: "You know I'm not THAT kind of girl..."
"Maybe not, but with a little expert instruction you could be."

Michael:
Grease: The Prequel.
Betty Rizzo: "Danny, you talk about spanking me again and I'll break your effin' arm."
Danny Zuko: "Riz, do you think I'll ever meet a girl who's a spanko like me? Maybe when school ends I'll find some summer loving."

Ronnie:
Him - Hey cupcake, this is how it goes, you, me in the back row of the pictures.
Her - What happens if I say no?

Vfrat25000:
Chuck: I got this idea about a worldwide system where folks can type in and send letters and pictures from one electric device to another.
Petunia: Will you quit worrying about things that will never happen? Let’s go to Uncle Frank’s barn; you owe me my birthday spanking (wink)

Chuck: Hey Babe…I’m not wearing any underwear.
Petunia: Hot Shot, you don’t know diddley squat about romance and your timing stinks. I have to babysit my sister in five minutes. I hope you get a rash!

Chuck: The grease in my hair is starting to make my head itch and it’s starting to melt. It must 100 degrees in the shade and I’m wearing a leather jacket. I’m a respected Surgeon. This is embarrassing. I hope none of my patients see me.
Petunia: I’m losing the mood Chuck!
Chuck: I’m sorry.

Chuck: “Hey sweetheart, why don’t you ditch Geometry class and take a little ride in the country with me. I am meeting my gang in Estherville for a few beers.”
Petunia: “Oh if I do I might get a spanking……Oh well…I’ll do it anyway”
Chuck: “Oh this is going to be GREAT!”

Chuck: I think I will wear these jeans and leather coat to the prom. What do you think?
Petunia: I think I need a different date for the prom.

CAPTION SHORT STORY (I thought for fun I would write a small “very short story caption” from this scene)

What did your Dad say about you getting in after midnight last night?
I am kind of worried. He said if it happens again I will have trouble sitting down.
Trouble sitting down, what was he talking about?
I don’t know for sure but I think he might have meant I would get a spanking.
(Laughing) That’s hilarious. You are eighteen years old and graduate in two months.
I know but he looked pretty serious. I am not sure I want to find out if he was kidding.
Oh come on Patty. Everybody is getting together Saturday at Miller’s Lake for a party. I understand Billy is bringing a keg.
I don’t think I should. I have no idea what is like to be spanked and I SURE DON’T want find out!
Chicken….! Come on…It’ll be a blast!
All right! I’ll be there. He couldn’t possibly have been serious about spanking me!

Bea: What's your name, little girl, what's your name?

Dr. Ken:
She: "Yeah, I've got matches, but I'm not lending them to you and there's nothing you can do about it!"
He: "Wanna bet?"

Bobbie Jo: So, I was thinkin' Amy, maybe we could go to the malt shop and talk a while. Then we can go to that place we like so well at the park. I will see to it you never pull another little prank like you did to the guys the other day.
Ah, come on, Jerry. It wasn't a real skunk. Just my cat painted like one.

Ricky: What is a "rock"?
Someone who is very hard.

Sir Wendel Jones: 
Rizzo: Come up to my place and I’ll show you MY leather.

Kenickie: After your spanking we can practice the hand jive.


Hermione: Danny knew Sandy was the girl of his dreams when he found out her safeword was "Grease".

Happy St. Patrick's Day!