Saturday, July 26, 2014

You Completed the Caption

You explained this mysterious scene so well!

Six of the best: "I would love to pull down her bloomers and spank her," said one of the men to the other.

Katie: She had them fooled. She knew that they were talking about her, and cleverly ignored them. Of course, her mind was really on her burning bottom. Oh she had been a naughty one last night! As always, love of her life did something about it.

Roxanne: "You need to spank her," said the older, more experienced captain. "It is the only way to keep your wife's mind on you while we are whaling."

Welcome, Roxanne!

Minelle: "You say she is giving you the silent treatment? Spank her, that will end the snotty attitude!"

Ronnie: Oh, if only I was 30 years younger, said the older man to the other.

Leigh: "Of course, you should spank her. Look how she's ignoring you."

Simon: "She's not going to be happy when she uses those trick binoculars and has two black eyes."

Ricky: Mmmm?
She: My boyfriend's back and you're going to be in trouble!

js666: There goes my daughter, spying on the neighbors again. I have no idea how to stop her. I'm at my wits' end. Do you have any suggestions?

Welcome, js666!

Sir Wendel: Give it up, Captain Ahab. Ya got a better chance of catching that whale. Even the winds of a hurricane ain’t gonna blow that skirt up.

Mandy: She peered through the crowded street, looking for her naughty husband. Unbeknownst to her, the old man was really her husband!

Welcome, Mandy!

 A. Lurker: Soon they would all set sail with Captain Morgan . . . but they would never leave dry land!

Vfrat25000: Should I go with the “I saved the entire crew during a hurricane” story or the “I repelled a band of pirates armed with nothing but a club and a knife?”
You and I both know we get seasick standing on a floating dock. I think the hurricane story will win her over!

The Lady: This is ridiculous. Its 90 degrees, 95% humidity and no breeze and I’m strolling around this fricken dock dressed like Mary Poppins. I call BS. I’m inventing the bikini!

It’s July 2014 and we are in the Hamptons. Why are the three of us dressed like its 1900?
Danged if I know!

That’s Captain Bligh’s daughter. Do you think he’s forgotten about that whole “Mutiny on the Bounty” thing?
I hear he is still really pissed off!
Figures. Oh well, let’s go to One Arm Mike’s Bar and see if any morally casual ladies have gathered.

We have been at sea so danged long. Please tell me that is a real woman. If it’s not I’m in big trouble.
Captain, that is a REAL 100% Woman
Sailor, let me introduce you to my next Ex-wife!

WOW! What a lady!
She is the Captain of that gosh awful pink racing yacht with the all girl crew, The Easter Bonnet. I hear that lady runs a tight ship. Any of her crew gets out of line and they eat standing up for a couple of days.
Really? No kidding. I think I’ll join that crew. I need to shave my legs. Where did I put that long red hair wig? I think I will go with those Capri pants. I have so many things to do before we sail.
Jim, I’ll leave you and your feminine side alone now and I am going to go watch some pay per view porn, get commode-hugging drunk and wake up in an alley someplace. Hopefully I will no longer have a mental image of you on that pink boat wearing a pair of Capri’s.

Hermione: Ralph, I swear that lady is a bum looker, same as us.

And there you have it. But wait! There's more fun to be had at brunch, coming up next. Please stay for some good food and stimulating conversation.
From Hermione's Heart

1 comment:

Dr. Ken said...

"I'm tellin' ya, she may not be a ship's captain, but she can blow my steam whistle anytime!"