You Completed the Caption

Sir Wendel: Rrrrrrr. It be a spanking for not properly swabbing the deck.

Nina: Feeding fish won't stop me from spanking you.

Leigh: Revving up his courage for what's to come.

Michael M: If you can't get the spinnaker out quickly this is what you get.

Rollin: "So I'm going to kiss the gunner's daughter? Where is she? All I see are fish."
"Stay put until I finish my coffee, then I'll show you."

Six of the best: "Ahoy mates lift her TOP SAIL and SPANKER" said the captain of his ship "KNICKERS DOWN'.

Ronnie: You can stay there until I'm ready to spank you.

Minelle: After refreshing myself I will spank you for your and my pleasure!

Baxter: Well dear, in the old days when you made a mistake, they would just make you walk the plank. But since it is just you and I here, I will spank you instead.

Vfrat25000: Captain Jack Sparrow teases his damsel in distress. After suggesting his lady love needed to be spanked she attempted to abandon ship only to be captured before she could leap over the stern. Not to waste a fine can of ale our hero Jack held tightly to his damsel while he finished his grog after which he would take her to his cabin for a proper bottom warming,

I think the photo is a lady in distress is suffering from the age old condition related to the “motion of the ocean.” Her significant other in the fine tradition of gentleman worldwide without thought to his own personal danger bravely holds her ponytail out of the way. This is not to say that the situation would or should result in the loss of a brand new can of beer. So while his lady love is blowing chunks into the sea, our hero calmly finishes his brewski.

Sweetie would you please hurry up and finish, our dinner of smothered pork chops, corn casserole and broccoli awaits in the galley. Do you want me to bring up the Jalapeño Appetizers so you can get that taste out of your mouth?

I don’t remember eating that!

Honey I think we need to buy this boat?

Hermione: Pretending to be seasick won't let you off the hook. I'm spanking you as soon as I finish my beer.

Complete the Caption

My sources for new pictures have largely dried up, but I was fortunate enough to find this charmingly suggestive photo. What do you make of it?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will publish your speculations in a couple of days.

Save the Date

That's right! This year will be the tenth time we have celebrated Love Our Lurkers. For those of you who are new here, once a year all bloggers get together and encourage their silent readers to come out of hiding and introduce themselves. Our dear friend Bonnie started the idea ten years ago, and dubbed it Love Our Lurkers.

What is it? Lurkers, anonymous readers, call them what you will. They are the people who read our blogs on a regular or occasional basis, but never leave a comment. On LOL Days, we encourage those people to be brave and leave a comment. Most blogs allow commenters to remain anonymous, so you never have to reveal your real identity.

Where is it? It's everywhere, but right here on this blog, I will put up a post and record the links to all bloggers who are participating in LOL Days. If you want to see who has joined in the fun, drop by here and you will see the list.

When is it? Thursday, November 12 and Friday, November 13.

Why two days?  This is a change that happened last year. We bloggers are located all over the world, and our time zones are vastly different. When LOL was on a single day, it was nearly over for some before others had even started. Bonnie, bless her, would stay up all night adding blogs to the list on her LOL post as other bloggers published their LOL posts. I don't have the stamina for that, so I might be lagging behind at the start. But I will catch up eventually, even if it takes two days!

What do I have to do? If you are a blogger, publish a post on November 12, encouraging your silent readers to leave a comment. "Love Our Lurkers" in the title will be helpful but not compulsory.

In a few days I will post some images that you can choose from for your LOL Days post. Or you can use your own. The choice is yours.

What do I say? Some bloggers ask questions for their lurkers to answer. Others have competitions, with a spank for every comment left. Still others only want all their readers to say hello. The important thing is to be friendly and encouraging to readers who might be apprehensive about leaving a comment. Please remember to allow anonymous comments, even if only for a day or two.

Any questions? If you have any questions about LOL Days, please let me know and I will try to answer them here.

Let's make this a celebration to remember!

From the Top Shelf - Three

I have such a fun story to share with you today by Colin Weaver, called "Three-Two-One". It was published in Februs magazine over a decade ago, and is one of those "corporal punishment by the state" stories that I am so fond of. Set in the future, the tale contains an interesting twist to the way punishment is meted out. The story is rather long, so I have split it into three parts. I hope you enjoy it.

Myra walked out of the courtroom and down the steps of the House of Justice. She felt grateful that the trial had been held in private, without the archaic mummery of bewigged barristers and the gaping faces of moronic jurors pretending to give wise verdicts upon matters they could not possibly understand. Just the three Assessors, considering the evidence against her and courteously listening to her defence.

Not that there could really be any defence. Even now that sentence had been passed and she wore the scarlet sash from shoulder to waist to announce her assessed guilt to the world. She was glad she had not tried to lie, to bluff, to make futile excuses for an offence which had been so blatant. The quiet, grave voice of the Senior Assessor had asked the only question that really mattered. "Myra Leverson, did you pollute the atmosphere and breach the climate control regulations by using an illegal petrol-engined lawnmower on the fourth of April, two thousand and thirty eight?"

Which of her neighbours had informed on her she didn't know, and it hardly mattered. Whoever it was, she felt almost grateful to them. How could she have been so irresponsible as to tinker with that shameful relic from the Years of Waste, the antique machine inherited from her grandfather, and then bribe that sly, smirking man with the dubious reputation to obtain the petrol for it? As it was she could only be grateful for the compassionate laws which allowed consideration to be shown to her sex. A man convicted of the same offence would certainly have gone to prison. As it was...

Her friends were waiting for her at the foot of the steps, Lucille and Toni and Cheryl. It was plump, loquacious little Toni, incapable of discretion, who asked the inevitable question, "What did they give you, Myra?"

Myra licked her lips and swallowed, reluctant to say the words, as though to repeat the sentence would somehow confirm the awful reality of it. But it was real and somehow she must accept and endure her punishment as many a foolish woman had done before her. When it had happened to others she had laughed and made unfeeling jokes, as people did. She did not feel like joking now. She took a deep breath and said "Three-Two-One!"

"Oh!" That was Lucille, always tender-hearted, Myra's cousin and oldest friend. "Oh, poor Myra!"

Myra shook her head. "I deserve it," she said. She managed the ghost of a smile. "Next time I visit one of you I hope you will find me your softest cushion to sit on!"

"How long, Myra?" asked the practical Cheryl.

"The sentence has to be completed by two weeks from today. I-I suppose I better start as soon as I can."

Three-two-one. Three sound spankings, two thrashings with a formidable tawse and one application of a supple stinging cane, at least twelve strokes on Myra's naked, squirming buttocks. All of which Myra would have to arrange herself.

It was not considered desirable for the State to maintain official chambers of punishment as paid agents of correction. Instead the culprit, once sentence had been passed, had to seek out for herself those who would carry it out. It might only be a single spanking. It might, for serious offences such as tobacco addiction, amount to six months of regular exemplary chastisement, at the end of which the culprit would be utterly determined never again to offend against the law.

When the system had begun there had been attempts to evade it. Some women had persuaded or bribed people to merely go through the motions of punishment or to omit it altogether an simply sign the official form certifying that correction had taken place. In every case the deception had somehow become know to the Assessors and their reaction had been draconian. By the time that a dozen people had started long terms of hard labour it was generally agreed that only an idiot would try to beat the system. Even the slightest suspicion that any of the punishments had not been carried out with sufficient vigour meant that the culprit could expect an order for it to be repeated.

"For God's sake, let's find a pub!" said Myra. "I've never needed a drink so badly."

When they entered The Grapes several of the other customers glanced with sympathy or amusement at Myra's red sash, but only the buxom blonde barmaid commented. "Hard luck, dear," she said. "I got done last year for vandalising my boyfriend's car when we fell out. Before the month was up I was sure I was never going to sit down in comfort again."

"If that was meant to be consoling," said Myra, when she had served them and left, "it didn't work! It's no use putting it off, I'd better take my first spanking today. Now who's the best person to ask for a good smacked bottom?"

Parents and blood relations were generally ruled out by the law. "Not," remarked Myra, "that I would fancy going across my mum's knee for the first time at twenty-four years old!"

Sometimes husbands or other male partners were called upon to execute justice. "The trouble with that," observed Cheryl, "is that once they've had the chance to tan your arse, they just want to keep on doing it. It doesn't take much to give some men ideas."

"It doesn't take anything to give my Gunnar those ideas!" said Toni plaintively. "I've been spanked at least once a week the past year whether I deserved it or not!"

They all knew and liked Toni's burly Swedish flatmate.

"It's because you have such a lovely spankable bottom!" said Lucille. "Honestly, sometimes I'm tempted to put you across my knee! Anyway, when Gunnar spanks you, you know it's not really punishment!"

"Well it feels like it by the time his big hard hand has been smacking my poor bum for five minutes!" pouted Toni.

"I suppose you've been spanked, Myra?" asked Cheryl. "I mean, surely we all have at some time, haven't we? Who was the last person to turn you over and spank you?"

"It was a man called Terence Sheldon," said Myra, thoughtfully. "I worked for him for a little over a year. He spanked me five - no six - times."

"Bare bottom?" asked Toni with prurient interest.

"The first time I got it on the seat of a tight skirt and he laid it on long and hard enough to make me very very sore! When he realised I wasn't going to make a fuss about it - I had deserved it, after all - he promised to take my knickers down the next time - and he did! Yes, I think Mr Sheldon would be a good man to approach."

When she phoned him a little later his voice was comfortingly matter of fact. Yes, he'd heard about the conviction. Of course, she could visit him that evening.

Had there been a trace of amusement in his voice? Myra hoped not; he was perfectly civil and good-natured when he welcomed her at the appointed time.

"Come in, Myra, nice to see you again. You remember my wife don't you?"

Yes, Myra remembered the tall elegant woman who smilingly greeted her. The family also included, she recalled, a teenage son and daughter. As though reading her mind, Mrs Sheldon said, "Michael and Fern are out with their friends. We thought you'd rather not have them here while..."

"That was thoughtful of you," said Myra, blushing. Of course, Mrs Sheldon knew why she was there. Her nervousness and embarrassment increasing, Myra looked from husband to wife and stammered, "Shall we - can we - ?"

"You wouldn't like a cup of tea first?" enquired Mrs Sheldon. "Oh I suppose you'd rather get it over with. You won't mind if I watch, will you?"

Of course, Myra did mind, but there was supposed to be a witness present during punishment. Anyway she could hardly banish Mrs Sheldon from her own living room. Myra gulped, "I'm ready when you are, Mr Sheldon."

Mr Sheldon calmly removed his jacket, rolled up his shirt sleeves and sat down. "Come here, Myra. I'm sure you remember exactly what to do."

Remembering all too clearly, Myra went towards Mr Sheldon and went across his lap, wriggling until she was in the right position, keeping her balance with outstretched hands and toes. That afternoon, Myra and her friends, giggling nervously, had discussed the most appropriate costume for a young woman who was going to be soundly spanked. As a result she had ruled out anything provocative, despite Lucille's suggestion of, "Wear your sexiest knickers, and perhaps he won't smack quite so hard!" She was wearing a plain white sweater, a short, pleated fawn skirt, white ankle socks and flat brown shoes. Now she felt her skirt being turned up, and her simple white briefs pulled down almost to her knees. She recalled the extremely unhappy occasion when she had last displayed her bare bottom to him. This time she was also displaying it to Mrs Sheldon which did not make her feel any better.

"If it's any consolation, Myra," said Mrs Sheldon, unexpectedly, "I know exactly how you're feeling - and I don't suppose it will be long before Terence has me in that position again!"

Myra was so surprised she almost laughed - until Mr Sheldon's hand descended with the first resounding smack. As spank followed stinging spank it seemed obvious that Mr Sheldon had been keeping in regular practice. No doubt the graceful Mrs Sheldon had often gasped and yelped and wriggled just as Myra was doing now. Smack! Smack! Smack! Mr Sheldon's hand slapped Myra's bare burning cheeks with a relentless rhythm and her eyes filled with tears. She had always tried to take her punishment bravely, not to start weeping too soon, and though her bottom was stinging furiously she knew that the spanking was far from over. He hadn't even smacked her legs yet.

When at last he commenced a methodical slapping of her soft white thighs it was almost a relief, momentarily, to have her suffering bottom spared the impact of his practised hand. By the time her legs had been thoroughly smacked, though, Myra was howling, sobbing and imploring as she writhed across his lap.

"Oh, p-please, sir, please, I'm sorry! That's enough, surely that's enough?"

"I must make sure, Myra," he said, "that the sentence of the court is adequately carried out. We'll continue with something you haven't had before, at least not from me. Jane, do you remember where that big wooden-backed hairbrush is?"

"Where you left it last time you paddled me with it!" was his wife's reproachful reply.

"Bring it to me, will you? It's just what Myra needs."

"It's not fair!" wept Myra, wriggling. "The court only said sp-spanking. That means with your hand."

"It means with hand or slipper or hairbrush, as you know full well," said Mr Sheldon. "I really should have used the hairbrush on your delightful arse while you worked for me. How fortunate to have the chance to to make up for missed opportunity!"

Myra did not feel at all fortunate when she heard Mrs Sheldon return and felt the smooth, hard wood of the brush resting on one roasting bottom-cheek. She stared at the floor with tear-blurred eyes and remembered that she was only at the beginning of her fortnight's penance, that there was much worse to come. Then she shrieked as the hairbrush smacked into her bottom for the first time.

Whew! I need a cold shower after that! And it was only the first of three spankings. There's much more to come in the next two weeks, and Myra will be very, very sore by the time she has served her sentence.

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for October 25

Our topic this weekend was warm-up spankings. You had this to say.

Downunder Don: There are two types of spanking; for pleasure and for pain. The pleasure ones are by far the great majority of spankings and have a long build up followed by a gradual warm up and great sex afterwards. The very rare punishment spankings have no warm up but are always followed by many cuddles afterwards.

abby: Punishment spankings, which are rare, have no warm-up, no banter, just loud scolding and louder whacks from the paddle. There are long hugs after, but no permissions or fun playing. Every other spanking starts with a hand warm-up. It gets my head into the right space, and starts getting my 'other parts' into the right place also. When my bottom is red and warmed we move on to whatever else will be used. After the spanking, there are cuddles and permissions, and lots of other fun things.

Roz: Spankings usually start with less intensity which gradually increases. Also, the intensity shifts during (to keep me guessing lol). It does help get me in the right head space.

Lindy: Sometimes Bear doesn't start with a warm up, just into really hard spanks. All depends on how he feels. Other times he gives a brief warm up before the main spanking with an implement.

S: Fun spankings always begin with a warm up, a long sexy spanking leaving my bottom glowing and ready for sterner things.

Bad girl spankings are different; never a warm up, so my poor bottom really feels the bite as the first one lands. Once D made me sit in a bowl of icy water, before I bent over. He then applied a martinette to my cold wet bottom, which soon had me yelling!

Six of the best: That depended on whether it was punishment spanking or a love making spanking. Warm-ups were given with the hand for love taps upon her naked rear end. The cane was used when she received them as corporal punishment.

Anon: Never! On the rare occasion that I do get it, it's punishment and there is no game playing. It's flat out pure pain that will not soon be forgotten.

Ronnie: With a fun spanking there's always a warm up and a nice long session. Other spanking no warm up just a very sore bottom at the end of it.

Bonnie: Randy claims that he doesn't believe in warm-ups, but the truth is that he often starts with a moderate pace and intensity before ramping it up. I know he is aware that I can last longer if he doesn't whack away from the start. Sometimes this matters and other times, well, he wants me to understand that it's his decision.

We both enjoy corporal punishment role play. In most of these cases, the nature of the scene dictates no warm-up. It's fun and exciting, but befitting a serious punishment spanking, it really hurts a lot.

Nina: Hi Hermione, fun spankings have a sort of warm-up, hubby starts that slowly and the intensity increases gradually. However there is no warm-up with punishment spankings. :( Maintenance is somewhere in between, as they are not as bad as punishments but no real fun either.

Hermione: Alas, no warm-ups here. Ron gets right down to business immediately. In hindsight, though, His whacks get harder as the spankings progress,  so I suppose in his mind he's letting me off easy at the start.

That was fun! Come back next week for another lively discussion.

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #96

Hello and welcome! Pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable. It's always great to see you. I hope you will find today's discussion both interesting and enlightening. This week I was contemplating the role that warm-ups play. By that I mean spankings that are lighter, meant as a preparation for the main event.

Do your spankings include warm-ups? Are they used regularly or only under certain circumstances? What purpose do they serve for you and your partner?

Leave your response as a comment, and once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish a summary of our discussion.

You Completed the Caption

John: "what are all those people looking at?"

Ronnie: Girls. girls just wanna have fun.

Simon: Apparently we heard it wrong. At Mardi Gras girls who are topless get presents of bead necklaces!

A.J. "The spanking man! The spanking man! He's coming!"
(In my fantasy world.)

arched one: Look girls we're inside getting spanked and our husbands are outside getting spanked.

Six of the best: "Six of the Best" licks, from "Six of the Best" stick. For the Cane, must Pain.

Sir Wendel: Look! It’s the Fuller Brush Man. Maybe this time he’ll take the hint.

King Span: I don't know... somehow it still seems wrong to watch the papal procession like this.

Baxter: I love doing this, getting those guys in that office building all hot and bothered. HAHAHA

(actually I once worked in an office where we could look out one of the back windows and see nude women posing for an art class.)

ricky: Drat that parade! We're not the centre of attention anymore!

Bonnie: Could this be what they mean by "six of the best"?

Hermione: "Don't worry, we're safe. He'll never think of looking for us up here."

Friday FAIL

Today's FAILs are from my cartoon collection. These are from my desk calendar that featured a different bottom each day. Ron gave it to me, and it never fails to make me smile.

For some bottoms that are much more photogenic, scroll down or click the link to Complete the Caption.

Complete the Caption

What's the attraction outside the window that has caused these girls to interrupt whatever they were doing to come and have a look? Your guess is as good as mine.

Complete the caption by leaving a comment and I will publish your guesses in an upcoming post.

From the Top Shelf - A Nurse's Mistake

This brief extract is taken from Rick Adams Plantation Punishment published by Silver Moon books. I hope you enjoy it.

The mystical nectar that the young nurse had given me in the early hours of sleeplessness seemed to have incited Morpheus, the God of Dreams, to enter my mind, and I became tortured by white-robed virgins who caressed my body with their sweet breath, and hordes of inexhaustible nymphs and orgiastic wenches seemed to have their little heathen fingers around my rampant John Thomas.

Hallucinations gradually gave way to a blurred cloudy realisation of a soft hand performing a lewd act under my bedclothes. A sudden spasm of the flesh woke me and, as I opened my heavy eyes, I found that the fingers were my own.

"Good morning, Sir."

It was the young nurse shaking my shoulder, waking me from my salacious dream. "Here is your tea." She placed the tray on the table beside my bed, walked over to the large window and opened it wide to allow in the refreshing sunny morning air.

"Are you new?" I demanded.

"Yes, Sir," she said, coming to my side. "I began my training yesterday. My first job was to give you something to make you sleep , but it was dark and you probably don't remember me."

"I don't," I smiled. "But I see you are very pretty - do you have a calling for nursing?"

"Well, Sir, I have no alternative. I had to get away from home, since my mother married again and my stepfather...." she paused then continued, " But now I'm here, Sir, yes I do believe I have a calling, yes I do."

As she prattled on about her noble ideals, I noticed how her blonde hair peeked out of her nurse's cap to harmonise with her lily-white cheeks. Her clear blue eyes sparkled innocently and her pert little nose moved in time with her rosy lips.

"And what is your name?" I asked, simply to stop her silly prattle.

"Patsy, Sir."

"Very well, Patsy. I see that speaking of your home life distresses you, and I am sorry about that, but I am sure you are an excellent nurse."

That had a strange effect on her, for she suddenly burst into tears. "Oh no, Sir," she sobbed, "oh I'm not, I'm not!" She looked at me strangely. "Are you alright this morning, Sir?"

"As a matter of fact, no," I replied, "I feel rather strange."

"Oh dear, oh dear, it's my fault! The medicine I gave you last night was the wrong sort!"

There was a long pause.

"I see," I said at last, "Well it can't have been too bad or sister would have dismissed you!"

"Oh Sir," she said," she will if she finds out. Please don't tell her, Sir!"

"You didn't tell anyone?"

"No Sir."

"That was your biggest mistake! I might have been severely ill. I might have died!"

"Oh Sir!"

Her innocent distress and the nearness of her were rousing my cock, giving me thoughts of having this gorgeous young creature in my power.

"Then you must be punished for your carelessness, Patsy. You do seem to be a very careless girl."

"Yes Sir."

"A nurse cannot afford to be careless."

"No Sir." she said meekly.

"Shall we send for Sister?"

"Oh no, Sir, couldn't you do it...couldn't you spank me or something, better that than being discharged and my whole future destroyed."

Another pause ensued, whilst my John Thomas rose stiffly to the occasion.

"Lock the door then," I said, "if you really want me to punish you. Come and kneel on the bed beside me and I shall see what can be done."

"Oh thank you Sir!"

"Lean over me."

She knelt on the bed by my side and bent submissively forward at my command. A hand to her back quickly collapsed her so that she lay across my lap. She was surprisingly warm and desirable, and she was trembling and taking quick little breaths. Fortunately the bed clothes hid my risen state as I slowly peeled back her long dress to discover she had no knickers on!

I felt a lot better, recovered enough to enjoy beating her though not, regrettably, to fucking her, not this morning anyhow.

I gently eased her chubby thighs apart and caressed her trembling flesh higher and higher...

She suddenly realised what was happening. "Sir, what you are doing is indecent," she cried, and started to wriggle, "I am only seventeen."

"Well I would not dream of taking advantage of you," I said, though leaving my hand where it was. "I should send for Sister then."

"No! No! " She began to cry. "I can't go home. I would be disgraced and my step-father would be furious. He would beat me worse than ever, Sir!"

...I ran my fingers round and round her splendid white buttocks. They would redden nicely. "Get up and fetch one of my slippers," I said," and then come back here, over me like this."

She came back reluctantly but obediently with the slipper and wriggled back over my lap.

"Pull your dress up," I ordered. "Continue to lie on your stomach and hold it up at the back with both hands."

"Oh Sir, this is so wrong -"

"Be quiet, you stupid girl!" I snapped. "I will punish you my way or not at all! Well?"

"Yes Sir," she snivelled," Whatever you wish, Sir."

"You think your step-father is worse than me?" I asked, my cock nearly bursting at the thought.

"Oh yes, Sir! Real nasty he is, Sir"

She pulled up her dress as I had ordered, and I gazed upon her naked bottom with relish. Then I ran the slipper over it. Her soft, plump flesh recoiled in dread, but when she started to cry and sob, my eagerness became all the greater. I was overwhelmed with an urge to punish this wench severely. My practised hand descended viciously upon the shrinking flesh.

Thwack!
Thwack!
Thwack!

Patsy began to yelp with every stroke of the slipper and after a few minutes her yelps turned into moans, then into screams so loud I had to stuff a handkerchief into her mouth. At last I was satisfied and she fell off the bed onto the floor.

"That will do for now," I said. "But you will come to me for further punishment every day until I am discharged. I hope I shall be more fully recovered before that!"

She ran off as fast as her feet would carry her, and I reached for my bottle of rum, then hungrily drank from it before slumping back on my pillow to reflect on a good beginning to my stay in England.

 I suspect this gentleman will have a long convalescence.

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for October 18

This week we pondered whether knowing a political candidate enjoyed spanking would alter your support. You had this to say.

sub hub: Yes, it would. I'd have even more resolve to vote for them if it was someone I was supporting.

Dr. Ken: It wouldn't affect my vote one way or the other. I know that being a spanko has nothing to do with your ability make decisions or hold office or some position of responsibility. Their stand on issues would still be the major deciding factor for me, not whether they enjoy giving and/or getting a good spanking.

The USA is still so puritanical and provincial, though, that the Bible-thumpers and make-believe moralists here would probably make such a stink about it that the candidate would have to withdraw.

abby: It would not be the deciding factor in who I vote for, all things being equal with those opposing him or her. I would choose the spanko. Spanko also leaves a lot of room for interpretation.

Nina: Hi Hermione, I think it would have a positive influence on me, but if they were against my beliefs I would still vote for someone else. I'd love to vote for someone who can be open about that, because I'd expect a sort of tolerance when it comes to consensual adult activities. Wishing you a great weekend.

arched one: Dr. Ken said it best. But here in the USA there is a bunch of strange "Ducks" and the press would push that like they are some kind of idiot. To me it would not make a difference.

Jan: Hi Hermione, over here in England, nothing would surprise me about our politicians. I think some of them are in to some very odd things and stuff is always popping up in the news. Spanking wouldn't put me off, but some of the stuff I read about....

Simon: It wouldn't necessarily bother me nor would most sexual adventures provided it only involved consenting adults.It would affect my vote if there was any hypocrisy i.e. if they were campaigning on a family values ticket and the spanking wasn't with their wife or husband. It might also depend on how they reacted to the news getting out.

Bogey: Just amazed that some think the US is puritanical and provincial. Those guys in the Middle East with swords sure have a different take on it.

Leigh: Frankly, they all need to be spanked. Might even make me think more positively about them.

Baxter: It is clear to me that no one on either side, GOP or Dems, is spanked. I can see it might do some of them good as there are clowns on both sides. There are a couple on the Dem side that are serious about the issues and that is good.

Bonnie: I'm not sure it would change my vote, but more consensual adult spanking is a good thing.

Wilma: Okay thanks for putting the image of Stephen Harper getting spanked in my head. SHIVER

I was afraid that might happen!

Tim: I wouldn't base my vote on it, but I would feel more sympathetic towaard the person.

Minelle: I would be okay with it, but the media would most likely slam them.

Katie: Hi Hermione, :) If they were a sound candidate, a good person, with good morals and strong leadership skills, then it would not matter to me one bit. They would get my vote. Though I think that Minelle is right about the media... All depends though.

Hermione: That would depend on the candidate. Justin Trudeau is cute as a button and probably has a very spankable ass. But I wouldn't vote for him even if he offered to put me over his knee in exchange for a vote. If I found out my preferred candidate - local or federal - was a spanko, that would increase my enthusiasm. I suspect, however, that being outed as a spanko would force the candidate concerned to drop out of the race.

Thank you everyone for the lively debate. Now it's off to the polling station for us.

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #95

Welcome, dear friends, to another weekend spanko brunch, when we get together to discuss all things spanking.

In Canada we are only hours away from a Federal election. Will the current party continue to be in power for another four years, or will the people decide on a change in leadership and direction? In the USA the parties are gearing up for an election next year, and campaigning is in full swing. That made me wonder about poltics and spanking.

What if you heard on the news that one of the the political candidates in your country had been outed as a spanko? Would that information influence your support or the way you planned to vote? How do you think the candidate's chances of being elected would be affected?

Now that I have put some awkward images into your minds, please tell me what you think by leaving a comment. Once everyone has had a chance to reply I will post a summary of our discussion.

You Completed the Caption

This was the caption from Cheezburger that made me chuckle. And what you had to say made me laugh out loud!

Edward: I think she just watched Two girls, one cup.

Welcome, Edward!

Leigh: A picture of her getting her last spanking.

Nina: Maybe they have taken pictures of her bum right afterwards and they appreciate the looks of a red bum differently?

Six of the best: The man is saying to the shocked lady that is gasping. "Not only did I promise you a rose garden in life. I also promised you 'six of the best' strokes of the cane on your knickers down bare bottom. And tonight's the night, that promise will be kept".

ricky: Oooh, I can't believe The Texas Rangers lost!
Yay, yay, Blue Jays!

Jimisim: She says, "If you think I'm going to let a geeky looking twat like you spank my bum like that girl on the 'tube, you've got another think coming!"
She then covers her face in horror of the thought.

Baxter: Dammit Peter, I asked you to spank me with your right hand, not your left hand. Your right hand always hurts more.

Kingspan: Oh my God! That guy in the spanking chat room was my ACTUAL daddy?

Katie:
He: Honey, you need to see this!
She: What?????? I'm simply mortified!!! How is it possible that my family found out about my blog, and even left comments!! Aaaaaaaaaah!!!!

Enzo: 
Computer Repair Tech Guy: "So great news! Not only did I restore your laptop, but I went ahead and uploaded ALL your photos to your Facebook page."
Shocked Girl: "OMG! All my private pictures too! No, this can't be happening; those are all the pictures my husband took of my spanked, naked ass!"
Computer Repair Tech Guy: "But just look at all the 'likes' and 'shares' you are getting!"

Dr. Ken: "And this is my picture collection of road kill...."

Friday FAIL

After Monday's Thanksgiving feast followed by a week of delicious leftovers, you can understand why food has been on my mind. Let's have some fun with food advertising and signage.

Sounds good to me!

Must be a new kind of flavoured beverage.

Pleased ta meetcha!

That's my kind of breakfast

Used in making the above-mentioned pain.

For an experience that's not at all painful, why not try your hand at Completing the Caption?

Complete the Caption

What does this young woman see that is so disturbing? Shouldn't the man next to her be getting back to work? Is that raised hand a sign of a spanking, or just a friendly gesture? I couldn't possibly say, but maybe you have some ideas.

Complete the caption by leaving a comment and I will publish your speculations on Saturday.

Slap On, Slap Off

Does anyone remember the Clapper? It was a device popular in the 80s, used to turn lights on and off remotely.

It was used in the movie "The Burglars" with Omar Sharif and Diane Cannon in 1973. At approximately the 1 hour 33 minute mark — in case you are interested in checking it out — Diane Cannon's lover slaps her and the lights are now "slap on" and "slap off."


Now there's a butt lamp that you actually need to slap in order to turn it on and off.

It comes packaged like this, but give it a slap and it comes to life.

Designed by Joseph Begley, it can be set to display one of ten different colours (I'd choose red). 

It's handy for when there aren't any real bottoms around to be slapped and you get the urge.

It would be a real joy to have one of these in every room in the house.

Slap on! Slap off! Repeat.

From the Top Shelf - Tim's Turn

Last week we enjoyed an excerpt from Rollin Hand's short story, "After Church", from his ebook collection of spanking stories, Ladies in Charge. As you may recall, Debby received a sound paddling from her mother after being taken home by the police after attending a drinking party. You might want to refresh your memory by reading it here.

Tim is waiting anxiously in the parlor, listening to the sounds of Debby's spanking. But the sounds have stopped, and that means its his turn.

He hears footsteps and he looks up. He can see Aunt Joan’s high heels appear as she descends the stairs. She is coming to fetch him.

She addresses him from the bottom of the stairs. “Go to your room and take your suit off. Hang it up neatly. Do not put on any other clothes. Wait for me there.”

“Yes, ma’am,” He says. There is no use arguing. Aunt Joan has been nice to him during his visit, but there has never been any doubt that she rules the household. There is a reason why the younger children are polite and well behaved and Tim suspects the family paddle is part of that reason.

Tim does as he is told and goes down to the guest room they have fixed up, which is just off the basement recreation room. He is shaking all over. How bad will this be? It sounded terrible when Debby was getting it. And the shame of it, too. He would have to bare his bottom to his aunt, a woman he hardly knew, and go across her knee like a little kid. He is a high school senior. This isn’t right.

Tim undresses as instructed. He sits on the bed waiting, clad in his underpants, a tee shirt and socks. Soon he hears the tread of Aunt Joan’s steps on the basement stairs. He sees her through the doorway as she approaches, paddle in hand. Aunt Joan has changed clothes. She has put away the Sunday dress and is wearing white shorts and a halter top. Her long lean legs are on display.

Aunt Joan pulls an armless chair away from the wall and sits down.

“Come here, Timothy,” she says. “You’re going over my knee.”

Tim quails. That paddle looks serious. It looks solid and Tim has no doubt that it will sting like anything. “Please, Aunt Joan. We didn’t mean any harm. We were just there. We didn’t drink anything.”

Aunt Joan is undeterred. “You are going over my knee right now, Timothy. Your parents approved this and you are going to get just what Debby got. Let’s go, young man.” She slaps her legs.

Tim moves forward and stands at her side. He gasps as she lowers his briefs to his knees. To his chagrin his erection pops out and wags up and down. Aunt Joan sees it and frowns. “Well, I never,” she huffs indignantly. “Get over my knee this instant!”

Reluctantly, Tim lowers himself across Aunt Joan’s lap. His cock slides along her thighs as she adjusts him so that his butt is sticking up high.

Tim feels a few pats with the wood then -- Splat! The paddle strikes, making an earsplitting crack.

“Yeow!” It hurts like crazy. Four more times in rapid succession the paddle cracks down, sending Tim into a frenzy of squirming. The hot sting is incredible. He has never felt anything to compare with this.

Aunt Joan tightens her grip. She taps Tim’s bottom a time or two, and launches into what will be a long and intense spanking. Her delivery of paddle smacks is deliberate -- a steady smack-crack- whap. One spank per second. She covers every square inch of Tim’s flesh from the junction of his bottom with his thighs to the crowns of his sit spot. For Tim it’s agony. His fanny is on fire. Tim can scarcely breathe, the pain is so shockingly intense.

The crack of the paddle resounds in the basement recreation room. Tim wails and flops over Aunt Joan’s lap while she concentrates on the task at hand, keeping her rhythm, spreading the spanks around. Such a cute boy bottom, she thinks to herself. It’s round and firm, almost like a girl’s. Not like her husband’s whom she sometimes takes to task. She can feel that hard penis sliding around on her thighs and reminds herself that it may be time she had another session with Mr. Buxton.

Tim finds himself pleading. “Ok, ok, Aunt Joan. Stop! It hurts! Ow! Ow! Ok!” His legs are scissoring. In response Aunt Joan clamps her right leg across the back of Tim’s thighs pinning him, shoving his face to the floor. Having secured the boy, she launches a new barrage of spanks soundly applied to the crowns of his beet red buttocks.

Smack! Splat! Smack! The paddle’s impact overcomes Tim. His sniveling turns to outright sobbing.

From their vantage point in the flower bed by the casement window, Billy and Shelly see it all. What luck that mom didn’t take their cousin upstairs. They watch in awe as their mother gives Tim a classic fanny tanning -- one that turns his bottom fire engine red and has him bawling like a baby.

Tim can’t believe anything could hurt this much. The tales of other kids’ spanking didn’t do it justice. Not at all. This is the most awful experience of his life. It is a relentlessly increasing hot sting that blazes hotter and hotter.

Smack! Splat! Crack! Tim breaks down and bawls. He is trying to plead, but it all comes out as incoherent blubbering. That seems to satisfy Aunt Joan, finally. She stops, stands Tim on his feet and tells him that he’d better not do anything like that as long he is staying with them.

* * *

Tim and Debby have to spend the day in their rooms. They are allowed out for Sunday supper where pillows are thoughtfully placed on the chairs. Tim’s bottom is still throbbing and he tells Debby. Debby says her seat still feels twice its size. Later on, both of them will experience an intense arousal and the pair will contrive to be alone where they can inspect each other’s damage. When that happens, hands will caress, and sweaty bodies will entwine. There will be French kissing and maybe the unimaginable.

Oh dear! I hope Aunt Joan doesn't catch them. But she will probably be too busy disciplining Mr. Buxton to notice.

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for October 11

Our topic this week was how the seasons affected our spanking practices. You had this to say:

Bonnie: I don't think the frequency or severity of our spankings vary much with the change of seasons, but other attributes do. For example, for very practical reasons, we wear a lot more clothing in cold weather months. We also have a few favorite scenarios that are often seasonal. These include bad cheerleader (fall), naughty schoolgirl (fall), Halloween (fall), workout chick (winter), bikini girl (summer), and so forth. It's fun and injects a little spice into our spanking adventures.

Six of the best: For me, whenever a situation presents itself, I enjoy taking a ladies knickers down and spanking her bare bottom. No matter what season of the year, be it spring, summer, autumn, or winter. Down come her panties, knickers, or bloomer, and whacko do, wacko do on her naked rear end is fine with me.

Nina: Hi Hermione, I think it is like Bonnie describes it; in addition, -not a real season though- once every month chances are higher that I need a spanking to give me my inner balance back. Wishing you a great weekend.

Fred: As I spend most the Summer in the nudist club I can't really go around with by bottom showing marks, so Summer the spankings are limited to the milder implements, hands and paddles. Come the Winter when I can put my pants back on I can break out the more severe implements, canes and crops. I kinda like having these restrictions placed on me, and I look forward to the change in season and the change in spanking.

Katie: I'm not sure that the seasons mean a whole lot of difference in the realm of spanking around these parts. I do agree with Bonnie that it is more of a project for Rob to "find" the bottom of yours truly in the cooler months. The thing that comes to mind for me is that in the colder months, when sent up to undress and WAIT for Rob, it is... kinda cold during the wait. Usually he kindly allows me to jump under the covers until he comes upstairs. LOL! Great topic to think about!

Wilma: Our house is full of kids during the summer months, and people are constantly stopping by. So we have very little privacy. Barney has an erratic schedule so fortunately for us we don't have to rely on just nights and weekend, because in the colder months, we can't seem to shove people out the door!

I have noticed that during the cooler months the 'assault' isn't limited to where my shorts might cover. I suppose that is a difference?

Roz: During the colder months most spanking is usually later at night, once the house is nice and warm lol. Summer time tends to be a bit more spontaneous for some reason...and I panick about anyone hearing with everyone being outside more and having open doors and windows.

arched one: Although we do live North, seasons don't make much difference in when and where a spanking will take place. Unless I'm doing something that requires I go in and out of the house often when in the house I just wear my panties and that gives her easy access to my spankable bottom. As a side note she has spanked me outside in the winter when walking in the woods. I'm happy to say the boots stay on and the pants only come down and the spanking is quick although firm.

Anon: 'Orrible Doggerell

Hurray, hurray,the first of May,
Outdoor spanks begin today.
But do not wait until the Autumn
To spank her hard on her bare bottom.
The summer sun warms her white moon,
But spanks will make it red quite soon.
In winter time her clothes get thicker,
And you will need to lower her knicker.
But paddling hard on well stretched jeans
She'll really know what spanking means !

Bogey: During Spring and Fall, the temperature is just right for a trip to the woodshed. Bacall has already been marched out there twice.

Sir Wendel: Doesn’t make much difference.

Hermione: The spankings themselves don't change, but we can be a little less concerned about noise in the fall, winter and early spring when the windows stay closed. We don't need to check for neighbours out in the yards on either side of us. Sometimes a spanking hurts more on a cold bottom.

Thank you all, and for my Canadian readers, a special wish today: