Pain, Ellis wrote, should be differentiated completely from cruelty. Sadism and masochism could be seen "as complementary emotional states"... "Any impulse of true cruelty is outside the field altogether... In algolagnia*, as in music, it is not cruelty that is sought; it is the joy of being plunged amongst the waves of that great primitive ocean of emotions which underlies the variegated world of our everyday lives." Pain then becomes "intense emotional excitement", a stimulus sought as well as given: "the real object throughout was to produce strong emotion and not to inflict cruelty." Just as some birds call out courtship cries at sight of an enemy (some women find anger in a man turning-on), so our parched sexual instincts could be aroused to new heights by a recognition of the true relationship between love and pain.*Taking pleasure in inflicting or enduring pain.
The fascination of whipping, which has always greatly puzzled me, seems to be a hankering after the stimulus of fear... Excessive fear is demoralizing, but it seems to me that the idea of being whipped gives a sense of fear which is not excessive. It is almost the only kind of pain (physical) which is inflicted on women by persons whom they can love and trust, and with a moral object."The association of pain, fear and sex is one I find fascinating. How about you?
It's time for another game of Complete the Caption. What is this young woman saying? Is she speaking to someone else in the room, or is she musing aloud? Will she be receiving a spanking soon, or administering one? Or is she simply justifying her bizarre taste in carpeting?
Memory can only preserve impressions as a whole; physical pain consists of a sensation and of a feeling. But memory cannot easily reproduce the definite sensation of pain, and thus the whole memory is disintegrated and speedily forgotten. It is probably true in general that a man who has known the cane at school might make a mental picture of a more severe type than a woman who had known only the infliction of a slipper. Indeed, most women might be well satisfied for masturbatory purposes with images of the ritual involved, bending over, raising the skirt, rather than any pain at all.I agree with the part about the memory of pain being lost, and therefore is not remembered as overwhelming. But in my own personal experience, my fantasies and mental imaginings take on a much more severe form than anything I actually experienced in the past. What I find stimulating is something closer to hard canings than mild slipperings, to use the examples from the above passage.
Why suffer discomfort from having to sit on a hard surface like a floor, bench or chair? Portable Critbuns solves the problem for those of us who have limited natural padding or who get spanked frequently. The gel-filled cushion has a built-in handle so you can carry it on those occasions when you think you might need it, like after a hard spanking.
Accidental pain is not perceived as pleasurable or sexual. The average sadomasochistic session is usually scripted: the masochist must have allegedly done something meriting punishment, there must be threats and suspense before the punishment is meted out, etc. Often the phenomenon reminds one of a planned ritual or theatrical production... When one appreciates this one realizes that often in the relationship the sadist is merely servicing the masochist. The sadist must develop an extraordinary perceptiveness to know when to continue, despite cries and protests, and when to cease.Interesting that the writer calls TTWD theatrical. I suspect I highlighted this passage because of my desire for roleplay as part of spanking. The top servicing the bottom? I never thought of it that way, but he does have a point.
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